Ahh Breakfast Date: The Mute

Well... A few Saturdays in the distant past I embarked on another date where I found myself wondering just why I do this to myself. I had previously had a relatively decent date with another guy, but this one had still been on the books for a while, so off I went.

We went to breakfast. Breakfast is one of those meals that can actually go by quickly no matter how slowly the service might be. Mr. Mute and I had had plans to meet up the week prior, but work, and the better part of life got me and I had to re-schedule. In true Cyn fashion I over booked myself and found myself running to breakfast late. Prior to that, I had to text Mr. Mute about 4 times to find out where we were supposed to go. Finally we decide to meet at Peets in Walnut Creek and walk to the breakfast place. When I arrive at Peets, I don't see him. Little do I know, I walked right past him and sat down. He did not look like his picture. He turned to me and said, "Cyndi?" Me, "Mr. Mute?" And then there is that awkwardness while we say hello, have an awkward hug/ handshake, and he's like "Did you want to drive there?" Me, "Umm. I parked in the garage, so I'm okay to walk." He seemed a bit taken aback by this. But hi. I just parked in the parking garage where I had to pay. Within two minutes of walking, I realize that this entire date is going to be filled with pulling teeth. He repeated his questions. Answered questions that required sentences with one word answers. He was boring and lame. Or maybe he just wasn't that into me.

Breakfast was tasty, it was the Walnut Creeks location of "Katy's Kreek" that's in San Ramon or Danville or whatever. But boring. It couldn't have been over quick enough for me. He paid. There was no indication of a second date. We discussed our plans for the day and parted our separate ways.

Things I learned from this date:

- ALWAYS have a conversation on the phone first.

- Breakfast can be ruined.

- Silence sometimes is better.

- People are ignorant.

xoxo,

Cyn

Ridiculously Funny

http://current.com/items/88906818_texting_your_way_to_love

"Classically Bad Date"

This came to me from a friend from high school. I got a kick out of it.

I meet this girl online. She is cute, worldly (lived in London), and has solid musical taste. She says she is going to Chile on July 5th and offers to buy me a drink before then, so we plan for 2pm on Sunday (coffee.)

She reschedules a few times, with good reasons, and we end up at an Italian restaurant in Campbell at 7pm (her idea). She orders hella food, mentioning that "its great for leftovers." About every 2 minutes, before the food arrives, she checks her teeth with the butter knife. Not too subtle, this one. I learn, over the course of the meal, that she divorced her guy in London to move back and live near her 70 year old father. She left home at age 17 to live with the biggest drug dealer in the Tri Valley area. Her brother is a heroin addict. Her last job as an insurance agent lasted a week because she started getting seizures. Then the conversation kinda dies...

Me: "Have you ever been to the haunted nude beach in Santa Cruz?"Her: "omg the Red White and Blue Beach? My parents are swingers and used to go there [shudders]"Me: "Yeah, but its kinda interesting that its haunted."Her: "Do you believe in that ghosts? I try not to, because my grandmother committed suicide in my bed."

Fortunately, the food arrives. Less fortunately, she feels obligated to handle all portions, which includes compulsively moving food from her plate to mine every five minutes. She continues to check teeth.

Things get better. I learn that she is bisexual, is addicted to orgasms ("I spent three hours yesterday orgasming"), and we have a great talk about the quality of girl on girl porn. Her dad was in a concentration camp (born in 30s), so I start to sympathize a little more.

Then she mentions that she was diagnosed clinically depressed at age 6. Check please.

Before the check arrives, she gets up to smoke a cigarette. She pulls out a $20 and says "will this be enough?" Given what was ordered, it was at $60 easily. I just sit there in silence.

Her: "Well you don't expect me to pay for the whole thing do you? I just offered to buy you a drink."
Me: silence
Her: [pulls out money] "Heres a $10. Thats Thirty. Do you want more?" [pulls out two $1 bills.]
Me: "Thirty is fine. I am not going to strees about a few dollars."
Her: "What am I going to do with two dollars?"
Me: "Buy that coffee you have been wanting."

The bill arrives. She grabs for it, seemingly wanting to prove that she is paying more than half. She isn't. She gets up to smoke. I secretly wish she is bailing.

After settling the bill, I walk outside. She is still there. I sit down next to her, hoping to salvage the night. No, I don't always know when to quit. Neither does she; she is on her second cigarette already. I try to make some more small talk but I can't breathe. As I get up to leave, she mentions that she is deciding whether to drive back to her empty place in Santa Cruz, or to stay at her parents house in Campbell (also empty.) Sadly, at this point, I am done. I give her a courtesy hug and she asks "Can I give you a peck on the cheek?" I think, OK... she takes a few steps towards me, then her heel gives out and she nearly collapses to the side. I leave.

I am. no longer. attracted. to. any. Andrea. anywhere. Thank you.

I'm going to hell

So I realized today that I'm going to hell. While relaying many conversations to my friends about the boy (the Car Guy) I've been talking to over the last week, it finally dawned on me that I'm a closet bitch. And rather judgemental, but we already knew that, right? So what incited such an epiphany? Well, sit back, relax, and read on.

So while out with the Car Guy this past weekend the inevitable conversation about the "ex" comes up. (His, not mine.) Now, mind you, I have already seen every aspect of his myspace page and hers. It's sickening if you ask me. And no, I can't handle the recent advent of all this technology. It makes me drunk with knowledge. It's too much for me to handle. But look at the pages I did. And learned a lot I did. So much that I actually texted all my friends asking for their input. Anyway. I have to point out that this girl, in my opinion, is not very attractive. Yes. I'm going to hell. I accept it. So during the conversation I ask what happened, etc., and we go through the gamut of why they broke up, etc. And during the whole thing, I'm just picturing these two together in my head and it just doesn't compute. And finally he's like, "Yeah, she's overweight but she has a hellof pretty face." At which point, I'm able to maintain my look of shock and not burst out laughing. He's like, "I'm sure you've seen her on my myspace page." And me, being a bitch and not wanting to be honest, yes, I know it was weird, was like "Nope. Haven't. But I will now that you've mentioned it." But in my head? I'm screaming, "She's your NUMBER 1. Of course I saw her. Hmm... Let me think about this. She's overweight, has no fashion sense, is 5'3", and has messed up teeth. Yeah... Hot... Oh but she has big boobs so he probably loves that. Ex GF 1; Me 5." And then I realized that there's a highly coveted spot in hell for me complete with a very hot fireplace. Fuck.

xoxo,

Cyn

The Car Guy's Roommate

This was from a few weeks ago. I still need to write up about Car Guy, but needless to say, didn't work out. Which is okay.

It's been interesting hanging out with the Car Guy this week. In fact, it's been a lot of fun. But the most interesting part hasn't been him (don't get me wrong, he's amazing), but his roommate (who is ridiculously eccentric). Being privy to conversations between two bachelors in their late twenties to early thirties has afforded me a new outlook on guys trying to date.

The first night I found his roommate extremely funny and eccentric. He told good stories and enjoyed being in the limelight. In fact, he talked up the Car Guy really well and made quite the testimonial about him. We all even managed to laugh over some YouTube videos. The second night I found his roommate slightly intrusive but not for any other reason then the fact that he obviously wanted to hang out with us. We hadn't walked into the house for even ten minutes because he started telling us how he just broke up with his rich girlfriend. The conversation that ensued was him explaining to me that he could no longer be with here because they were spiritually different and see was a leech on his spirituality. However, to quote him, "She was a good fuck, she offered me the world. I could have had anything I wanted. But she we weren't on the same page spiritually." The interesting part of the conversation was his emphasis on words and lengthy explanations as to why it wasn't going to work out. And a small part of me felt happy that I was not the girl who would have been on the receiving end of that conversation that probably took an hour to simply say "This isn't working out." After the conversation the three of us spent about 30 minutes continuing to watch YouTube videos. Yes, my friends, I have started dating the YouTube guy. (But that's another story for another day.) The third night of hanging out with the Car Guy at his place, his roommate was home, but didn't immediately come out of his room. I asked if he was even home knowing that he had gone on a date. (Oh yes, the roommate is also on Match.com.) When he does come out, he's on the phone and it's mostly to turn the music down. Eventually we all start listening to music together and hanging out. Car Guy's Roommate starts talking about the types of girls he likes to date, etc., and the conversation quickly turns vulgar. There is a fine line of conversation that a girl wants to hear. I've been in on a lot of conversations with guys in the past, many of which have been inappropriate but this was the first time I deemed a conversation vulgar. Every other word was tit or boob or the "p" word, which is one of those words that girls just don't like. Upon further reflection and discussion, I started to wonder how this reflected upon the Car Guy. On the one hand, his roommate is one of those kids that will instigate arguments, continuing to do something that is obnoxious, and will intentionally annoy the shit out of you. So I could understand the Car Guy's hesitance about wanting to say anything about him being vulgar. On the other hand, grow some balls, show the girl who's pants you so desparately want to get into some respect, and tell him to shut the fuck up.

The last time I hung out with Car Guy and his roommate, which would turn out to be the very last time Car Guy and I hung out, we all went to dinner. And to exemplify the Car Guy's Roommate's personality, I will share one last anecdote about him. The roommate is an english teacher. We started discussing what books he is having his classes read, etc. And starts naming off sex-type books. Knowing full well that public schools would not allow sex affiliated books into the reading list, I went along with the conversation that ended up being over half an hour. Finally he's like, "I'm just fucking with you." And I just laugh, because, hi, duh. And he's like, "I can't faze you, can I?" And that pretty much sums up the roommate. He's the kid that says the most inappropriate things. He tries to "impress" people with his stories, which, I admit, are quite funny. But mostly, I think he just likes to "faze" people.

More on the Car Guy soon!

xoxo,
Cyn

Does technology ruin our chances at love?

In a world where we can know exactly when a person last logged onto Myspace, facebook, or even into Match, does technology hinder us from finding love? Are we armed with more technology to "stalk" potential crushes then we can handle?

Do we have too many sources to keep tabs on the people we dating? Myspace tells you the last time a person logged on and will even let you know when they last updated their profile. Facebook goes so far as to tell you mini-stories about every one of you friends on your homepage. But does all this freedom really hurt our chances at finding something substantial? We can tell the last person dated through Myspace and probably even see their profile. If the current "crush" still has a ton of comments on their page or pictures, or keeps their ex in their Top Whatever, what is the "crusher" to think? And as women, do we over-analyze the possible outcomes of these comments and placement of friends? Myspace event lets you know when your message has been read, and you can always check their page to find out if they accepted your comment.

I have a friend who blocks her number to call guys that haven't responded to her calls. And if that doesn't work, it's onto her friends to make those awkward calls of "Is Jeremiah there?" when really the kids name is Matt. And all to find out if he's just ignoring her or is too busy for the phone. I myself have fallen in love with the fact that Verizon lets you see when a text message has been received by a person who also has Verizon. But what sense of security can this really give us? It's not like we can call the guys (or girls) out on for not answering the phone. Especially at the beginning of the "relationship". And why can't we just let it go? What makes us so neurotic that if a guy doesn't answer our call that we freak out? Is it because we are given too much information and ability to find things out?

For a small fee, Match will let you see when a person reads the message you send them. Is $10 really worth it to know that he did read the email but that he didn't take the 10 minutes to write you back? And if it says that he's been on in the last x hours, does that mean that he went on there, saw your wink or email, and then decided that you were not in fact worth those 10 precious minutes of typing an email? This conundrum has plagued my co-worker who, I think, would prefer to not know the last time someone was actually on the site. It gives you an easy sense and reason to write them off. Who needs to talk to someone who can't respond to you as soon as they get online? And, in the case of me from time to time, if they email you a few days later, what is proper etiquette for asking why they pulled a Houdini? But in the end, we both agreed that the response to the question of why they disappeared often speaks louder than if they had responded sooner. No response? Writing them off is worth your time now. Witty banter with no good reason? Worth the next email but get to the date sooner rather than later. To the point, I've-been-swamped-at-work? Worth the emails and finding out if your schedules will ever mesh well.

So, are we armed with more technology then we can handle?

Take 2, Date Number 1 thru ? - The Car Guy

On Monday sometime in the far distant past, I had my first date with the Car Guy. Car Guy is aptly named because he is not only passionate about his car, he refers to "her" as his "lover". (Which makes me laugh because I automatically think of Carrie from SATC saying, "Hello, Lover." Which spirals into my thinking of how she referred to the Russian - luvor. Which goes to me calling Google Nicole's lover. Yeah. It's twisted.) Anyway, after a few emails and match chatting, the Car Guy and I decide that In N Out is in order for dinner because, well, quite frankly, I'm in love with In N Out. So on a Monday night in the not too distant past, I set out on a 30 minute drive to city where Car Guy lives. (Long story as to why we couldn't go to the In N Out literally down the street from my house.)

(Okay. I should point out that this has taken me well over a month to write. I will try to be concise.)

For about two weeks, Car Guy and I hang out almost every day. I sleep very little and eat even less. Anyone that knows me knows that this is a very volatile situation for me to be in. Over the course of the two weeks, I spend a lot of time at his apartment, and met his roommate. (There's already a posting about him.) His roommate isn't really that impressive to me. I'm sure there are reasons for this, and probably the most prominent is that he's one of those people that will intentionally get under your skin. Regardless, this posting isn't about him. It's about the Car Guy.

The Car Guy is one of those cocky guys who's very much into what he likes, and is very rarely interested in hearing what other people have to say. In fact, Car Guy was even racist. (Deal breaker anyone?) From day 1 I told Car Guy that I wasn't just looking for a hook up. Granted, we had some amazing chemistry, and I think that if I had just wanted a hook up I probably could have without any questions asked. The short story is that it didn't work out with the Car Guy. I think we both knew it from the second date. He would say things that intrinsically annoy me, and I'm sure I did the same. He wasn't a classic gentleman (do they even exist?) and I probably put up with more than I should have. I'm sure he hearted me as a date as well. He wasn't all bad, just didn't have the best timing. In fact, the ending of it is what warrants this as post worthy.

A few weeks ago I got my latest tattoo. For those of you who don't know me, I got an Aboriginal Platypus on the back of my neck in memory of my boyfriend who passed away. It took me a long time to pick out the design and even longer to get it. In the end, I never quite understood the emotional ramifications that would come with this tattoo. Two days after I got the tattoo (and two emotional days about it) I hung out with the Car Guy. I went out to dinner with him and his roommate (see the other posting). Afterwards we just hung out and listened to music. By around 11 I said I needed to go home. The Car Guy, being somewhat of a gentlemen (I never said I didn't contradict myself), walked me to my car. There, after a fairly hot make out session against my car (I will happily refrain from the conversation so as to not make my brother uncomfortable), it comes up again as to why I had been upset for two days about my tattoo. Not 3 minutes after I tell him the whole story, he's like "Well, since you keep asking me to be honest with you..." And all I can think of is, "Really? Now? You know I've had a shitty week. You know I'm emotional. Now is when you are going to choose to have this conversation?" Him, "Me and Roommate, we're nice guys. We're just looking for some fun." I interject here to point out that he should never had put himself in the same category as his roommate. I didn't think highly of his roommate. "I just don't see this going anywhere long term. Like I'm having fun and all, but I can see you falling in love with me, and I don't think we have anything in common, and I don't want to hurt you. Almost all of my relationships start out like this and before I know it, I'm in a relationship." Umm, hi! We've known each other 10 days. I'm falling in love with you? I don't even know your middle name. My response, "Really? You are choosing now to have this conversation? Brilliant. Because my week wasn't shitty enough." Him, "I still want to be friends. I still want you to call and text me." Me, "We can't be friends. I can't be friends with someone I'm attracted to. And you want me to stick it out so that you can have someone around you that's into you? Yeah. Not going to happen." This conversation goes on for a while. It's me not quite understanding what's happened and him trying to explain himself. In the end I was like "I can't be friends with you." And he agreed that that probably wouldn't work out. I left. He stood outside my car, and I left without looking back at him.

Despite the dramatic ending and all the drama that followed the next 4 days (cherry on top, anyone?) this actually turned out to be one of the best catalysts in my dating life. It forced me to deal with some issues from the past two plus years that I have been conveniently ignoring. It also made me realize that guys do things girls do all the time. They try to turn something into something it's not. In retrospect, I feel like we wanted different things and that he thought he could turn it into a hook up. (He may have been successful if he hadn't brought everything up that night.) I probably wanted to see if anything more serious would come from it. Regardless, we haven't talked since then. The bummer is that he had a cd I wanted a copy of.

xoxo,
Cyn

A Few Conclusions About Dating

So I went on my first date of the second round of online dating on Monday. I would say that it was rather successful and turned into hanging out several times this week. And it's weird. I don't have this odd inclination to type out everything we talked about and poke fun at his idiosyncrasies. At least not yet. Maybe because I may be developing the smallest of crushes on The Car Guy. So, instead, I will share with you the fun of things I have learned about myself, my co-workers and friends during the last two weeks while discussing my re-entrance into the realm of online dating.

Inevitably, almost everyone has a story about a bad online date. My co-worker has several, but it appears that I take the cake for them. Upon discussing online dating, my co-worker and I chatted (and dissected) why there is never a second date when one expects there to be one. Date numero uno may have gone fantastic in one person's mind, but apparently not the case in the other person's mind. I even fell victim to this. Recently my co worker went on a great first date but the guy never called her after. And I just have to wonder. Is it really too hard to make it more obvious that you aren't feeling the other person? Or do I just live in an idealistic world where everyone says what they think and feel?

Also recent, I learned that another of my co workers was going into the dating world again for the first time in two years, which is admirable. She found my blog not only uplifting, but I think she figured that her date wouldn't be half as bad as any of my bad dates. Her one complaint? The guy couldn't figure out what he wanted to do. Girls always get shit for not being able to make a decision, but as a man in this day and age, it's actually quite sexy (and nice) if you already have a plan of what you want to do for the first date.

And lastly, Kel and I sent numerous emails this week about my "many" dates with the Car Guy. Upon further inspection, we both realized that we are absolutely horrible at showing guys we are interested in them in the beginning. We aren't naturally great huggers or touchy feely people, something that is not only expected in dating, it's practically required. So do guys just assume we aren't interested? Kel and I don't know. Any guys out there want to take a stab at this one?

So, the conclusions. A second date will never be when you expect it. Guys need to learn how to re-take the reins (at least for the first date), and Kel and I need to learn to be more open with hugs.

xoxo,

Cyn

And the search continues...

And so the search continues...

Upon re-joining Match.com, I quickly started to search for new boys, started winking at a few, and getting ready to prove Match wrong that 6 months is not long enough to find love. The first few searches yielded little fun. In fact, many of my past "dates" ended up in the results. They were quickly "x'd" out to prevent them from continuing to come up in the searches. (And odd that so many of them were still on there. I'm telling you, Match, love can NOT be found in 6 months.)

After a few different tweeks of my profile and my "search" requests, I started to find some new, slightly more interested men on the internet. I quickly started throwing out some winks and an email or two. Then I took a moment to reflect on the whole process of online dating and match.com as a whole. In reality, there aren't too many aspects one can "search" for another, but online dating tries to make it easy for you by giving you all these "characteristics" that one can search. But they are ridiculously mundane and simplistic. For the most part, there is an age range, height, hair color, eye color, faith, ethnicity, etc. There isn't a "psycho", "obsessive", or "socially inept" buttons. I mean, really? But I guess everyone has to start somewhere.

Anyway, I'll close letting you know that there are a few conversations, a potential "In N Out" date, and maybe a few boys that everyone will enjoy hearing about.

Yep. I did it.

Well kids, I did it. Since Kel, Heather, and a slew of other people kept asking about my nonexistant dating life, I decided to re-take the plunge at online dating. Why? You ask. Well, apparently I want to keep my life interesting, I want to stay busy, and I want to give fate just one more thing to play with. In other words, I guess some part of me missed it. Call me crazy, or any other word in the book, but it's true. Besides, Kel hasn't been dating enough to keep my life entertaining, nor the book that we intend to write one day long enough.

xoxo,
Cyn

Date #8 The Boringest Guy EVER

As the title of the post suggests, this was the boringest date EVER! And the shortest!

Mr. Boring and me had been chatting on and off for several weeks before we were finally able to pinpoint a date. This date took place the following Sunday after the second date with The Dino Grad Guy. I had spent the day with my family and had absolutely no want to go out for coffee with yet another guy I have nothing in common with and whom I find rather boring. Also, I had been in the midst of packing for yet another move. Maybe I should start just canceling when I don't really want to go out.

So we decide to go to Peets Coffee in WC at 8. I leave my parents house and drive there. Lo and behold, Peet's is closed. Just my luck. When I call Mr. Boring, he's like "I was wondering if that was going to be the case." Here's a clue. If you think it's going to be the case, maybe you should suggest another location. We decide on Starbucks in Barnes and Noble. I don't like Barnes and Noble. I worked at Borders. But that's okay. Off I go to B&N. When I get there, I don't notice anyone who looks like his picture, nor any awkward people who look like they are waiting for a date. So I order my hot cocoa. (Again, why do we insist on going out for coffee. Who wants to drink coffee after 3 pm in the day?) I sit down and look like the awkward girl. I'm fairly certain that if people actually cared enough to notice me, they probably knew that I was waiting for a date. Eventually I see this random guy who looks NOTHING like my potential date looking awkwardly around. I wave him over and say "Mr. Boring?" (Not really. I used his name.) I'm taken aback because this kid looks nothing like the picture, and has the social awkwardness of a brand newly born chick. It's bad. Oh. And have I mentioned that he's a math teacher? I thought that it was kind of cool. Maybe even sexy. Yeah. I was wrong. Some stereo types never die. And start with good reason.

After he gets his coffee, he sits down. We start chatting about how I'm moving. Well, no. I start talking about how I'm moving because the silence is so awkward. When he talks, it's boring and about how he still lives at home. How his math students don't learn. How he has to move them onto the next grade regardless. The conversation is probably more mundane and boring then vanilla ice-cream. At least vanilla is reliable and tasty. It even has sugar in it.

After about 20 minutes of this hellish conversation, I feign tiredness and call it a night. He decided to stay at B&N to look at the latest sci-fi and fantasy books. I'm not going to comment on the irony of that because I read sci-fi and fantasy from time to time. And that just wouldn't be fair.

Kel asked me how I was able to call it a night after only 20 minutes. My response? If you aren't feeling it, you just aren't. I'm not going to waste my time for an hour just so some guy can realize that we have nothing in common. I don't feel an obligation to sit there and talk about what color socks he wears to work just to not offend him. I know that not a lot of people feel this way. In fact, I'm certain that many people would think that I was a bit too harsh and jumped the gun. To all of you: TRY ONLINE DATING! Then tell me that spending only 20 minutes with someone you find as interesting as the most boring thing you can think of is worth your time and isn't torture. To all those that agree with me in cutting it off as soon as humanly possible: You've obviously been there at some point, so cheers!

This concludes this portion of online dating. From here on out, ladies and gentlemen, I'll be blogging about any interesting stories I may have. Any interesting interactions that come my way. Oh, and we mustn't forget the roommate.

Date #7 Date #2 With The Dino Grad Guy

The day after our first date, The Dino Grad Guy and I plan the next date for Wednesday night. I was excited because I felt like the first date had been so well and was really looking forward to spending a bit more time with him.

So turns out that The Dino Grad Guy was a bit of a smart arse. The morning of our second date I get the following message from him (thank you, G-chat):

The Dino Grad Guy: oh, well if you were aiming for tonight, you'll have to compete with the two blond undergrads I was with last night. they told me they had to have me again tonight. haven't decided if they're worth my time.

me: ouch

not sure if I can compete with that

maybe I shouldn't even go

The Dino Grad Guy: I think you need the competition. it wouldn't be fun for you otherwise.

I already knew that he was a smart arse, but it continued to astound me. I have pasted the email sent to the girls the morning after the date. Edited, of course, for mature audiences only! Ha ha. More like, be prepared for me to look like an ass.

So I'm beyond confused by my date last night. The date part of it went well. We got beers and chatted. Then went out to the Berkeley Marina to watch the lunar eclipse. And while we were out there, he starts telling me how many people he's slept with (5) & how the average was two dates, etc. And I just laughed about it, etc. He also mentioned that he was actually easy, and had I wanted to sleep with him on Date #1, I could have. But we ended up making out at the pier or whatever. Then we headed back to get dinner. After that, we went back to his place and started watching tv & making out etc. And he's like "Do you want to go to my room?" And I was like, "Yeah, but I’m not going to sleep with you." And we proceeded to continue to make out for a while longer. And then suddenly he's like "So how long am I going to keep you out till?" (Its like 1015) And I was like "Depends. Am I taking BART home or do you want to drive me to my car?" and he was like 'Umm. BART. I don’t want to drive that far." Me "Um. All right. Well whenever." Him "It's just that Steve (his roommate) mentioned getting a drink with a friend I haven't seen for a while." Me "All right. So I'm being kicked out bc I'm going to sleep with you?" (The flow of the conversation made sense. It wasn't long after the whole bedroom conversation. It also wasn’t the first time he mentioned the second date sex thing.) Him "It's not like that. I wasn't expecting anything." So the conversation goes about in circles for a bit about him wanting to go have a drink & my needing to leave & its just weird bc I'm getting the impression that I'm being kicked out bc I'm not going to sleep with him. So finally I say, "Go meet your friends for drinks, that’s fine." And yes it was slightly sarcastic. Him, "That was just an excuse, I'm just really tired. I want to go to bed." Me, "So the truth would have gotten you a lot further in this conversation." And now I’m annoyed bc it's like, really? You couldn't just ask me to leave bc you wanted to go to bed? And I'm confused. And annoyed that I have no idea whether the kid is interested in me or not. And yes, I do mention that. The jack ass is so f'ing sarcastic he makes me look like a saint. And I can never tell when he's serious or not. (Example: the two blond undergrads – which wasn’t even true.) So anyway. I get up to leave. And he's like "I'll walk you to BART." Me "It’s cool. I know how to get there." Him "Are you sure?" Me "Yeah. It's fine. I'll be fine." And I got up to leave & he's like wait cuz I've left my scarf on the couch. (Can I just mention here that I would have been SO angry if I had left my COACH scarf at his place? I would have been SO ANGRY!!!) And hugs me good bye and goes for a kiss, and when he fails, he looks defeated. And I was like "It's not like that. I do want to see you again, The Dino Grad Guy, and not just in passing bc I'm in Berkeley or your in SF." Him "Me too." Me "All right then. I think we both just got the wrong impression." Him "Yeah." (OR something like that.) So I gave him another hug and a quick kiss and left.

So I'm just confused for the multitudes of above but also because I get the impression that he likes me but then I also get the impression that he doesn't. It's very strange. And I don't know if I want to go out with him again either. I can only handle so much sarcasm. In fact, there's a really good analog from my own experience that reminds me of this. When I worked at Carrows I had a crush on my co worker, Jason. And we went out once or twice. And then nothing. I remember talking to my manager about it, and she was like "Well, you're ruthless with him." And I'm like "What are you talking about? I'm just joking around." Her "I poke fun at him. You bite of his arm." And thats sort of how I feel with The Dino Grad Guy. It's more of a biting off the arm then the poking of fun. Also, I would like to point out that I'm fairly certain that he was a complete nerd in high school & is just starting to come into his own. And I think that makes him co ck y in a bad way.

Oh! And one other question... So making out is supposed to consist of French kissing right? And that's supposed to comprise of tongue. Right? Or have I been kissing all wrong for 12 years?

End email.

One other bit. When we were at the Marina, he was like “You know I can see your status message on your g-chat, right?” (The status message was “Yay for inappropriate crushes!) Me: “Yeah.” Him: “Is that in regards to me?” Me: “Not really. I have 1 really inappropriate crush and 1 semi-inappropriate crush.” Him: “Oh…” Me: “But you’re the only crush that I’m interested in pursuing.” Yes. It was cheesy. I’m okay with that. I don’t mind a little cheese from time to time. It keeps life interesting. Then we had to explain exactly what crushes were. I think for him, crushes are more like when you actually like someone. For me… More like when you are interested and want to get to know someone better.

Okay. So in retrospect, I made some mistakes on this date that are similar to what the Anonymous comment to Date #4 refers to. Mostly, I was interested and probably let that be known a little too well. Also, I wasn’t up for having sex with him on the second date. Maybe that was the problem. Whatever. It was an experience. I left angry. We haven’t really chatted since then. Oh but Anna has something to say about it. Here we go:

From Anna:

I was going to write something completely different until I read the last bit about french kissing.

Yes, he was a complete nerd. I think it's some sort of epidemic with former nerds. Like we all got french-kissing lessons in health and guidance but they were too busy playing Dungeons & Dragons (SORRY RYAN!) and missed the class. That being said, perhaps he does have a case of gotta-makeup-for-lost-time-itis. That would explain the 2 date average (or am I just out of date on 3-5 being the normal # of dates prior to shagging... (is that an ok word, Kel?)) So maybe if you're wanting this to be something more than hanging out/making out/ having fun, he may not be the right candidate. He may want to play the field for a while. My recommendation would be to take half of your eggs out of this basket. In fact, make that 75%- Just in case. That way if something develops, you're pleasantly surprised, but if he turns out to be some jerk that never calls, or is entirely too sarcastic to be fun to hang out with, or is just trying to get as much action as possible, you haven't lost too much. I'd say do this on your own terms. As long as you're having fun, and enjoying his company (it being mutual and all) go for it, knock yourself out. And if you feel like you're more invested than he is, or if he's no longer enjoyable leave him to the blond undergrads (greasy hair, print t-shirts and all- oh I saw the girls in Ryan's classes....).

On the topic of sarcasm. Beware. It's funny at first, endearing even. But I can tell you from my experience with Ryan it gets really old, really fast. Just a little proviso, something to keep in mind as you're figuring out whether you like him and want to keep seeing him. Other than that, I'd say if you're up for it, give it another shot and see if he's perpetually confusing. See if he likes you/if you like him. I mean it's only been two dates. It takes a while to figure that stuff out sometimes. Even if you know how you feel, it may take him longer- hence the confused feeling you get. Just try to take things slow and see how they progress. Again just don't put all your eggs in the basket (You've got like 40K of them he really only needs 1 or 2 K at this point. LOL-can you tell I just gave a lecture on genetics/biology?)

I'm not sure what to make of the "drink with a friend"/"i'm tiered" business, maybe Kel can shed some light on that... I'm wondering though, if he said the thing about being tiered because he thought it wouldn't hurt your feelings as much as him going to get a drink with friends (especially if you said "Go meet your friends... etc." a little bit sarcastically). Maybe he was trying to backpedal after realizing it was kind of a stupid thing to say. I don't know, this is just conjecture on my part.

Oh! And Nicole agreed that making out includes tongue.

Crushes

This is a good place to interject this post because it occurred in between Date #1 with the grad guy and Date #2 with him. During this time I had three crushes. One - The Dino Grad Guy; Two - The Roommate; and Three - The Work Guy. This became a humorous point amongst myself and my friends. It can become very hard for friends to keep track of several guys, especially ones that they have never met, when there are constantly new stories about each of them. This became even more humorous when one friend thought that The Roommate was gay. Don't fret if you have yet to learn who The Roommate or The Work Guy is. All to come in due time. Well maybe not The Work Guy. There are no good stories there.

Oh. And just so we're clear. My definition of a crush is someone that I am interested in knowing better, and most likely feel that I have some level of attraction to. Hell. There may even be some chemistry.

Date #6 The Dino Grad Guy

Date #6 comes to us courtesy of my best friend Anna. While at work I could rarely look at the dating websites because of restrictions and blocking and would often forward her any emails or “winks” I would get from guys. One day she looked around the different websites and found someone who she thought would be great for me. We’ll call him The Dino Grad Guy. Ironically, he does not study paleontology.

This date takes place the Monday after my second date with The Wine Guy. It was a three day weekend and the last thing I wanted to do was go on another date. At this point, I was over the online dating thing and going on this date simply out of the sake of finishing something I started. Besides, I had to meet a sorority sister for dinner that night so the date couldn’t last that long.

The Dino Grad Guy and I met in Berkeley, where he goes to school. (Shocking.) To be honest, I was a bit excited about the date because he was the first guy that I wanted to go out with because it seemed like we had so much in common. Besides, who can’t trust their best friend? I get to Berkeley and meet him at his place. He came down the stairs to meet me and I was excited to find out that he didn’t put “old” pictures up of him and didn’t lie about his height. There was definitely chemistry right off the bat and we even hugged at the beginning. We walked down to the local coffee shot and got drinks. We sat and chatted for a while, and while it wasn’t exactly forced conversation, I felt like I was needing to work a bit harder then normal. We chatted about what my plans for the future was and what he was working on for his thesis. When we left the coffee shop, we decided to go get gelato. Well he wanted gelato. I was pretty good without it. And I felt that I had met my match in someone who liked chocolate as much as I did if not more. On the way to gelato the conversation started to get more easy and natural, which was good. I really hate forced conversation. We even managed to chat about family. Wow. In retrospect, I’m still pretty excited about how well the date was going.

So what did I learn about The Dino Grad Guy? Well… He was in a relationship for six years but turned out that the girl was a lesbian. His best friends are lesbians and he tends to hang out better with girls. I saw pictures of him when he was younger and he very much had a style make over after breaking up with the girl. (For the better!) He was using online dating to try to meet new people and seemed to be enjoying it. He didn’t consider himself easy and didn’t like “easy” girls. We ended up back at his apartment looking at pictures on his computer and sharing stories about trips and friends. I was supposed to meet Jayme in Fremont at like 4:30. She called me at 4:45 to ask where I was. Oops. The conversation was just going really well! So I high tailed it out of Berkeley, but not before he walked me to my car and kissed me good-bye. It was the first date where I actually felt excited about it and the guy. There was reference to another date and off I went to meet up with Jayme.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering why this post is so short for being a good date, it’s because I neglected to give details to any of the girls via email or chat the day after. This makes it hard almost two months later to remember all the little details. Don’t worry. There was a second date. And don’t worry. There’s LOTS of information on that one.

Date #5 Date #2 with The Wine Guy

Yep. It’s true. Despite the unsuccessfulness of the first date, I proceeded to set up a second date with The Wine Guy. I’m not really sure why I did. In fact, I tried desperately to find a way out of the date, and continually changed it. (In my defense, I had just started the triathlon training for Team In Training and it was kicking my butt. Subsequently, I have since quit the team. Who has time for that training crap anyways? I still managed to raise quite a bit of money, but that’s very much besides the point of this post.) Finally we agreed to Saturday night at my favorite Mediterranean Place. (And may I interject here, adhere the following advice – do not, under any circumstances, date a “getting to know you” date to your favorite restaurant. Yes. I too was warned.)

I spent the morning training and the afternoon hanging out with my friend, Matt, who finds the whole online dating situation ridiculously amusing. He doesn’t quite understand the point of it, and in retrospect, I have to say, I sort of agree with him. As the day continues, I still haven’t heard from The Wine Guy. As I leave Matt’s to go home and relax, at which point I have written The Wine Guy off because it was about 3 hours before the customary “going out time”. (In my book, 7 pm.) Turns out he had to go to a funeral that day but still wants to meet for dinner. Well paint me purple and put me in a bucket. Who goes out after a funeral? The past two that I have had the terror of attending, the last thing I wanted to do was go out on a date. (Granted, one was for my boyfriend who had passed away, but that’s not the point.)

We meet in front of the restaurant and I suddenly remember exactly why I shouldn’t have gone on a second date. It’s not that the kid isn’t cute, but he has sort of a squished face and his sense of style rivals Mr. Rogers. (No, there weren’t sweaters, but there very well could have been.) So we go inside and have to wait. I’m like, let’s sit at the bar and eat. Because, really, the thought of making extended small talk with this kid for long periods of time makes me want to vomit. So we sit and have drinks and he’s like, “I’ve already eaten.” Which astounds me because the point of going to dinner isn’t to watch me eat, but to eat together. Plus, how awkward is it when people watch you eat? So he ends up ordering an appetizer. Oh and did I mention that I said I would pay for dinner? I can’t quite remember why I agreed to this blasphemy. I truly am a spirit of “the guy should pay” mentality. Yeah. I’m old fashioned. I want my door open. I want the romance. “Welcome to the age of uninnocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's and no one has affairs to remember. Instead we have breakfast at 7 am and affairs we try to forget as soon as possible.” (Candace Bushnell.) Well I want breakfast at Tiffany’s and affairs to remember. So when I say that I’m going to pay, I don’t really expect to be taken up on this. And I’m not to say that when I’m in a relationship (not just casual dating but exclusive dating) I won’t pay for anything. I will. In fact, on the same coin I don’t mind paying when the date is my idea. For example, if I were to plan out a long days worth of activities (maybe a museum, lunch, the park, dinner) then I will happily pay for it all. But rarely do dates last that long, and even rarer do first, second, or third dates go that way. It would be quite advisable for someone to come up with a coffee houselike entity where dates could go to talk. Because food and beverages are ALWAYS just a front for conversation. If you have chemistry, chances are, you’ve already forgotten about the food and beverage.

Anyway. The date! So the food comes and we eat. And the conversation is so not going well. I’m not ready to get married, have kids, and live in wine country. I get the impression that he is. In fact, he continually talked about his family, how he’s going their after the date, etc. Oh and he’s a church going boy. My brother would be proud. And yet, I felt like I could have been anywhere but there. There was absolutely no chemistry. And contrary to popular belief, I think that chemistry can be the start of a good relationship. I mean obviously the other stuff has to be there – good conversation, similar interests, etc. – but I just can’t imagine having a long term relationship with someone who I don’t have good chemistry with. But maybe that comes with being a Capricorn.

You may be wondering, how did the date end? Well, quickly, thankfully. After the meal, I claimed tiredness (which wasn’t actually false… I just exaggerated it) and off we walked to the parking structure. Thankfully there was no discussion of walking me to my car or any of that, and we managed to park on different floors, so we said good bye in the elevator – no hug. Altho, I think there was a hug at the beginning of the date. Wasn’t awkward. Just happened. And on that note, I feel that I must clarify my resistance to hugs. I don’t mind the odd hug from a friend I haven’t seen in a while or when I’ve done something exceptional or when something bad has happened. What I do mind is when strangers hug me, when friends insist on hugging at every encounter we have, and when random people feel it’s okay to touch me. It’s not. I don’t like being touched by people I don’t know. I’ve managed to make good friends with people who also agree and live by these principles.

There were no more planned or acted upon dates with The Wine Guy. I have to say – he was an interesting part of the story, but I wish I would have forgone Date #2 with him.

The 90 Minute Conversation with Out of State Boy

So some quick background about this guy. The shortened story is that we sort of "online/ phone dated" last year for a while. Like maybe 6 months or so. He came out to California to visit last June. It was slightly more disastrous then I anticipated, as these things always are. Not long after he came out, we called off whatever it was that we were doing. And it should also be mentioned that his ex-girlfriend went out to visit him for a few months. Yay for basically being cutoff from one of what one would consider a best friend. This conversation is from a summarization to Nicole. Oh and it should be pointed out that for the past six months, the only time Out of State Boy would call me was when he had been drinking heavily. And while only once in a while would he make an extremely inappropriate comment, it was still quite amusing.

So I'm going home yesterday and Out of State Boys calls, and I'm like "I'm almost to my car, can I call you back in like 10?" and he's like, just tell this guy i'm shy. So the short end ot that conversatoin is that he was hanging out with another Work guy, Work Guy, who's from Local SF Location, and wanted him to know that Out of State Boy was shy. Which is SO UNTRUE!So while talking to Work Guy, he proceeds to ask me out for drinks next week, which I find slightly odd, but who am I to ask, right? so I get off the phone and call him back when I'm driving home. Mistake number 1.So we're talking and he's drunk and is like, I'm going to go and I'll call you tomorrow. And I'm like, "Sure.. Okay. Whatever" and he's like what does that mean? and I'm like, You only call me when your drunk we've been thru this. And he's like, that's not true, which starts a short converstaion about how he only calls me when he's drunk, but he has to go, so i'm like, I'll call you later after I eat dinner. Mistake #2 i call him back. Which spirals into a 90 minute (much needed) converstaion of why i think he only calls me when he's been drinking, why he actually only calls me when he's drinking (he only thinks to call anyone when he's drinking. It's the only time he talks to best friend). How he considers me a REALLY important person in his life (he couldn't stress this enough). How I consider him the guy that calls me when he's been drinking and when I have 20 minutes to kill. Then it goes back to June/ July when things did or didn't happen and how they did or didn't end. How he traeted me like shit bc his ex gf was living with him. How he's sorry for how he treated me, and regets how the situation was hadled. (Which I think I needed to hear). And we talked in circles about this for a long time. And i told him, "I'm over this. I've been over it since December. It just aggrivates me that no matter what the time, space, and distance put between us, you can still get under my skin in a way that bugs me. It bothers me that you can text or call me and a week later I'm still thinking about it. I want to be over you but I'm not yet, and it's annoying. It has nothing to do with you." and he gave me the impression that he felt the same. And he was like, "It just sucks that it ended how it did. But I still consider you someone very important in my life." and again, we talked in circles. So the good things that came out of it was that he apologized for last summer and how shit ended, which i needed to hear, and he said some other things that I needed to hear. And he was like, "I want to be better friends with you in your eyes too. Even if that means that I have to make more of an effort too." And i was like, "Ok." and by that I mean I'll believe it when I see it. But I feel better bc I'm not crazy on how he treated me. Not that I thought I was but it was more of a "Oh. you realize you were an asshole and didn't handle the situation well? Good to know." And SCENE. And the oddest thing? That his co worker asked me out for drinks.

So that's the gist of the conversation. Why did I answer the phone? Why did I call him back? Why does any girl return the phone calls/ texts/ emails that "exs" or "past boys" send them? Curiosity, closure, or revenge. Pick one.

Basically after it ended last summer he completely ignored me. And it was at a really bad time in my life, which was really bad for me. And then I couldn't get over it because there was no closure, and it was all because his ex-gf came out to live with him for a while. I mean, I get that guys don't want to be talking to two chicks at once or whatever, but really, if he had just had the balls to tell me that he didn't want to talk to me while his ex-gf was living with him, I would have been okay with it. Instead, I went into stalker mood and got all girly and pissy about it. I mean, really, if you want to hang out with your ex, that's fine, but have the balls to explain that to me.

So where are we now? Well we chat about once a week if that. But I feel loads better about the situation and no longer constantly think about him. Oh man, if I had started this blog when he and I started? Well, oh man is all I have to say.

Date #4

Well, we all know that I take a while to catch up on this game. Just to give you a count, after this date there are 4 more dates for me to write about. Hopefully I'll be caught up soon!

Date #4 was a date that was continually put off, not because I didn't want to meet up but because work was getting way intense. Finally we agreed on a Saturday night coffee date. I didn't really want to meet up and only planned on it being an hour. In fact, I had told my sister I would drive her out to a club. So I show up at Starbucks (and what's that about? Can't we find a more local coffee house to make friends with?) and Date #4 is there. (I can't seem to come up with a nickname and if ANYONE has a suggestion, I'm all ears!) He's cute and whatever, but totally did the protective thing when I went to get my drink because the baristas were cute and I was being a flirt, so he came up behind me to start talking to me. It wasn't awkward, but just kind of like "Can't I just get my coffee?" But whatever. Oh and I should point out that the date started with a hug. Nicole would be proud.

So we sit down and start chatting, and the conversation is going well. In fact, I can't seem to keep my mouth shut. It was one of those dates where everything I think comes out of my mouth. It was bad because then I start to sound like a critical, judgmental bitch (and I guess that's not that far from the truth...), but oh well. It's also usually the first sign that I'm interested in the boy.

So I have no idea what the conversation was about aside from it being normal. We chatted about my previous Match/ Online dates, and the awkwardness of them, etc. It was kind of amusing because he also spent a lot of time talking about how annoying and dramatic his friends were. Yes, this was the guy that in his first email alluded to his friends being drama. So halfway through the date, my phone rings and it's my sister. Obviously she needs to get to the club. And by no means was she my "out" or anything because really, who needs an out at this point in life? I answered the phone and told her to have her friends drive her there and leave their car there and I would pick them up later. That made it sound even like an out. Date #4 and I keep chatting and my phone rings again. It's my sister telling me that the "fourth" guy wasn't going to go and that she needed a ride, again. I tell her fine but to call me twenty minutes before she's ready to go so that I can drive out to get them, and I continue my date.

At 9:30 my sister calls back and is like, "Does your friend know how to get there?" Me, "I don't think he's going to go." So while I'm on the phone I ask him if he wants to go from Concord, to Martinez, to Pleasanton back to Concord and he just laughs awkwardly. Me, "Lis, he's making an awkward laugh, so I'm going with no." Once I'm off the phone he's like, "Well it'd be pointless for me to go with you bc you'll be going right by Danville (where he lives), unless you wanted to go out for drinks in San Ramon with my friends. but you seem like you really want to go home and take a bath." (Apparently I kept talking about wanting to take a bath...) Me, "Well, I'd be down to hang out, but I'm not up for a social thing where I don't know anyone." Him, "Well I only know one of the guys." Me, "Well why don't i call you after I drop them off?" and he agrees. We say good bye (and I hugged him... Oh and he was the only guy I hugged at this point.) And I joked about how I don't normally hug people, etc.

When I got to my sister's, I texted him, "Hey. Would it be weird if I suggested going to your house and just watching a movie or something? Unless you go out with your friends." His response, "Yeah, it's weird, but I think I can handle it. My friends flaked." A minute later I messaged him with, "BTW, this isn't a pretense to just hook up." His response, "Sweetheart, you aren't getting any tonight." Which cracks me up. And then he texted me directions, etc. And off I went to take my sister to the club and then to Date #4's house.

When I get there, we start "The 40 Year Old Virgin" because I hadn't seen it. We spent the whole movie chatting and stuff and watched very little of the movie. And no, we weren't making out. We were chatting the WHOLE time. So during the movie is when I realized that I totally had a crush on him because I literally had no filter on my mouth. I thought it, it came out of my mouth. Good times. We even looked at Myspace pages and whatnot. Yeah. What a date. Ha ha. And yes, I did remark about all of this. Yay for dating...

So halfway through the movie he's like "Do you want some wine?" And of course I do because I heart wine. And he gets it, etc. And then like 20 minutes later he's like "Do you want some candy?" And busts out with packages of m&ms, skittles, etc. And I'm like "Do you just keep a stash of candy next to your couch?" And he's like "No, I went to the store." And I'm just astounded by this act of kindness and gentlemenness. And so, in true Cyn style, I continue to comment about it and he's like "Do you want to see the receipt?" And I say "Yes." And thus he produces a receipt from Longs which includes not only the candy but also the wine that we had already drank. Which I proceed to comment on and make fun of.

Around 1:20 am or so, my sister called. We had just started the second movie, Talladega Nights, which I also haven't seen. I was exhausted. I had already commented on my ability to sleep just about anywhere. So he's like "Do you want me to go get them for you?" Me, "No, it's cool. It might be hard to explain. And then move them from cars, etc." Him, "Yeah, it may be hard to explain to your sister why you're asleep in a guy's bed." Me, "No, I think the harder part to explain would be why they aren't going back to Martinez tonight." So I say good bye to him and head off to pick up my sister and her drunken friends.

On the way home, after dropping them off, I call him to let him know just how thankful he should be that he didn't have to pick them up. And we joked a bit more and then said good night. Oh and I should point out here that his roommate kept texting and calling him during out date. There were some explicit words exchanged between he and I that would tarnish my reputation as a lady. (Ha! As if!) And thus that conversation will not be repeated here.

We texted the next day (which I started) and he was like, "We should meet up during the week." During that we continued to g-chat and even discussed my "lack" of plans for the future. He's at the point in his life where he's ready to buy his first house, etc., and I'm at the part of my life where I just keep thinking that there is something more out there. Very different books. He's an ant-eater and I'm a zorilla (look it up).

So from the sounds of it, the date sounded good, right? Like there would be a second date, that we hit it off, that we had a lot in common, right? WRONG! So a few days later I'm like "Do you want to hang out still?" And he texts me with, "I want to but I don't want to lead you on. Like I see us being friends, not in a relationship." And that spurs this whole conversation of him jumping from us going on one date to being in a relationship. Yeah. Good times. And I point that out but that I understand. So what happened? Well, the only thing I can figure is that because we're in such different books in our lives, that he doesn't want to get to know me better. Or maybe he was in a different universe for the date then I was. Or maybe the date wasn't as good as I thought. (Which is hard to believe for me...) I'm open to interpretation, so bring it my way! This was well over a month ago, and we have only chatted once or twice on g-chat. And haven't hung out since.

"To boys who confuse us!"

Messages from a Player Part 2

This is the second part of my friend and her beau. Sadly, this was the end of their relationship. Be warned, the conversation contains explicit language and adult content. Reader discretion is advised.

Girl: can you have dinner tomorrow night

Boy: not sure

Boy: are you asking me on a date

Boy: going snowboarding in the AM

Girl: of course you are

Boy: why

Girl: why what

Boy: what

Girl: you said "why"

Boy: what are yo utalking about

Girl: Boy: why

Girl: so i said, why what?

Boy: im lost

Girl: omg

Girl: scroll up

Girl: why did you say "why"

Boy: when?

Girl: Boy: going snowboarding in the AM

Girl: of course you are

Boy: why

Boy: why the of course

Girl: cause you always seem to have time to go snowboarding

Boy: omg

Girl: it's true

Girl: ive been trying to hang out with you for....how long now?

Girl: and you never can cause you're always going snowboarding

Boy: ive worked for the past 12 days

Boy: been looking for a place to live before and after work

Boy: first day off

Boy: i want to play

Girl: well then i just wanna know how im ever suppose to see you then?

Boy: i dont know Girl

Girl: neither do i Boy, neither do i

Boy: things will be ez when i get my own place

Girl: if you really think im gonna drive to hollywood, you're crazy

Boy: dont get all riled up

Girl: nobody's getting riled up

Boy: you seem to be hot rod

Girl: because i said im not driving to hollywood?

Girl: that's getting riled up?

Girl: interesting

Boy: chill out light sticks

Girl: lol

Girl: ok Boy

Boy: lol

Girl: i wasnt laughing at your comment, i was laughing at your ridicilousness

Girl: just to be clear

Boy: ok Sweetcheeks

Girl: stop with the little names, its condescending

Boy: sorry what does condescending mean

Girl: nevermind

Boy: what

Boy: do you know

Girl: of course i know, im the one who used the word

Girl: it doesnt matter, just stop with the names

Boy: sorry Moonbeam

Girl: Boy im serious. have some respect to stop something if i ask you to stop

Boy: your funny

Girl: what the fuck is your problem?

Girl: everything i say is just a joke to you

Girl: it gets old Boy

Boy: sorry

Boy: lighten up

Girl: when you do it ALL the time it gets OLD. when you mock everything i say, i get fucking tired of it

Boy: ok cranky pants...think its past your bed time......Sorry i cant tuck you in.....Have sweet dreams...ok sweety....Ill give you a call manana to see whats up with dinner.......ok baby....night night

Girl: seriously what is your problem

Girl: can you be respectful at all?

Boy: seriously! Chill out.....

Boy: yah

Boy: stop

Boy: typing

Girl: no! you chill out! im tired of you constantly mocking me

Girl: its RUDE

Boy: how did i mock you

Girl: and its immature to keep doing it when ive told you to stop

Boy: how did i mock

Boy: you

Girl: when i tell you to stop calling me all those names

Girl: and then you keep doing it

Boy: omg

Girl: and keep doing it

Girl: that's mocking

Boy: your such a bratt

Girl: how is that?

Girl: because i get upset when i ask you to stop something and you dont??

Boy: look at your messages

Boy: thats how

Girl: look at YOUR messages

Girl: they're rude! you're constantly rude to me

Boy: there jokes

Boy: fuck

Girl: i dont care!

Boy: your funny

Girl: it bothers me because everytime you sit there and call me one of those stupid names it just means you dont give a fuck what a think or say or what hurts me

Girl: you just keep doing it anyway

Girl: because YOU think its funny

Girl: its not funny to me when you keep doing it after i've asked you to stop

Boy: i dont ever remember calling you names before

Girl: you ALWAYS do so dont give me that

Girl: you always mock me with things like "ahh omg seriously"

Boy: what names get you so riled up?

Boy: ong!

Boy: omg

Boy: !

Girl: its just your general attitude. your attitude of how you only do whats in your interest. if i tell you something bothers me then you act like im a spoiled brat or something and you keep doing it

Girl: well it fucking hurts to be mocked all the time Boy

Girl: and ive asked you to stop numerous times

Girl: and you DONT

Boy: guess i have you all wrong

Boy: seriously

Boy: gosh

Girl: see, there you go again

Girl: acting as if my feelings dont matter

Boy: what

Boy: dude

Boy: Girl

Boy: chill

Girl: i'll chill when you can be mature and actually stop when i ask you to stop something

Boy: you get so worked up

Girl: because you keep doing it!!

Girl: everytime i try to tell you something that bothers me, you just sit there and roll your eyes and act like im being crazy irrational

Boy: bad girl

Boy: time out

Boy: time out

Girl: so why dont you consider someone else's feelings besides your own

Boy: jeeeeeze leweeeze

Boy: sorry

Boy: wait

Boy: dont message another

Boy: k

Boy: awww wait

Girl: i'll believe you're sorry when i tell you something that bothers me, if for once you can be mature and say "ok im sorry" instead of sitting there and saying "jeeeeeze" "chill out hot rod" etc et

Girl: c

Boy: Girl everthing i do bthers you

Boy: you just figuring that out

Girl: pretty fucking much

Boy: ok

Boy: i wont bother you hten

Girl: why do you always have to sit there and mock me?

Girl: why?

Girl: why cant you just understand that the things you say are hurtfuo

Girl: hurtful

Girl: and realize that and say you're sorry and change it

Boy: Girl im done with your temper tantrums

Boy: im done

Boy: i joke

Boy: im not serious

Boy: im playfull

Boy: your not

Boy: thats why things will probably never work

Boy: you should chill

Girl: yes i am, but when i cant say anything about how i feel without you trying to make a joke

Boy: look for an old guy

Boy: or lighten the fuck up

Girl: this isnt about "lightening the fuck up" its about you being respectful! how hard is that Boy?

Boy: you have problems

Girl: are you fucking kidding me?

Girl: I'm the one who has problems?

Boy: wish i was

Boy: Girl

Boy: you have issues

Boy: look

Boy: think

Girl: i like you Boy. i like you a lot. and then when the things you constantly tell me are rude and condescending how the hell do you think that makes me feel?? how?

Girl: when everything i say is just a joke to you

Boy: if you get that mad over a few playful messages

Boy: do you think thats normal

Girl: its not a "few playful messages" its ALL the time!

Girl: i cant EVER tell you how i feel because you make a joke of it

Boy: whatever

Boy: what are you talking about

Boy: we didnt message anything like that

Boy: i thought we were just freindly chatting

Boy: jeeeze

Girl: you're selfish and you dont even see it. everyone except you sees how you are only in things for yourself. you only do things on your schedule and you dont go out of your way for anyone else, ever. you know Boy, it would be nice for YOU to actually plan a date for us

Girl: but that doesnt happen

Girl: i always have to pester you, and bug you just to be able to see you once every 5 months

Boy: im not a planner

Girl: then fucking become one

Girl: get off your ass and think of someone besdies yourself

Boy: you cant change me

Boy: stop trying

Girl: step outside your fucking box and do something nice for someone else

Boy: i told you this long time ago

Girl: what girl do you think is gonna put up with your shit?

Girl: you want someone to "experience things in life with" well what girl is gonna do that when she has to make all the plans

Girl: when you dont put it any effort

Boy: hmmm hang on

Boy: k

Boy: well im up front

Boy: they will have to take it or leave it

Boy: im 26

Girl: nobody is gonna take that shit

Boy: not changing now

Girl: its ridiculous, you need to grow up and think of people besides yourself

Girl: everything you do, you do it for Boy

Boy: why do you even fuck with me then

Boy: you know what

Boy: im the most giving person you will ever meet....if anyone in my fam says something different they are full of shit. Melissa will tell you that I am the most giving person

Boy: not selfish at all

Boy: i just dont have time

Boy: after moving here

Girl: fucking stop with the i dont have time shit

Boy: ok Girl

Girl: you may be "giving" in some aspects, but when it comes to the general picture, you're selfish. you only do things that are convenient for you

Girl: like the 5 times you've stood me up?

Boy: bull shit

Girl: that's "giving?"

Boy: if you can tell me one way im selfish besides my time i would really lie to hear

Girl: the times you've stood me up! that's selfish! when we were suppose to hang out and then you just disappear

Girl: when you cant even give me a heads up with a 20 sec phone call

Girl: because you are too busy partying somewhere

Girl: that's selfish

Girl: how you can be depended on

Girl: ever

Girl: how if you say you're gonna do something, you very rarely ever come through

Boy: thats all time stuff

Boy: when im with you

Boy: i give you 100% of me

Girl: when you're with me??? after it takes an act of congress to see you???

Girl: EVERY time we've done something together, its been because of ME

Girl: you had nothing to do with it

Boy: dude i work

Boy: i worked 84 hours last week

Girl: i dont fucking care if you work. yes i know you work, i get it. stop using it as an excuse! to make a plan and follow through with it doesnt take that long

Boy: ok

Boy: if im so selfish why do you waste your time

Girl: would it be so hard to say "you know what Girl, i havent seen you in a really long time and after i get back from snowboarding it would be nice to maybe grab a drink." would that be so hard Boy? would it be so hard to plan for 1 hour out of the day tomorrow to actually call me and say hey, lets meet up for an hour

Girl: what is so damn hard about that?? but you wont do it

Boy: OK hot rod.....Im working a 12 hour grave.....getting off at 5 and driving straight to the mt........why would i say that...im going to be so tired that i really dont think thaty im going to do shit

Girl: i dont know Boy why would you

Girl: you have time for snowboarding, but you dont have time to grab a drink for one hour

Boy: omg i cant keep going....you almost had me riled up there for a sec

Boy: ha ha ha

Girl: do what you want. you're not gonna find anyone half as good as me who will put up with your shit

Girl: i dont even know why i do it

Girl: i shouldn't

Boy: you dont

Girl: you say you want someone to share life with, but you're not willing to do your part

Girl: you're gonna end up alone

Boy: fuck it

Boy: you dont even admit to having a yahoo profile

Boy: guess we are both fucked

Girl: what is that suppose to mean?

Girl: why are you still stuck on that?

Boy: well seems like you look at my profile

Boy: have a lot to say about it

Girl: yeah, i did once here recently and that was the time i brought it up to you

Girl: whats your point

Boy: ok Girl

Girl: i dont know where you plan on meeting someone who is just gonna do the work for you. at some point you're gonna have to man up and take responsibility

Boy: yes mother

Girl: see, there it is again

Boy: omg

Boy: whatever

Boy: Girl your a negative person

Girl: no im not, im a very positive person. but when you're constantly surrounded by your and YOUR negative ways, it changes things

Boy: ok Girl

Boy: everybody else like to be around me

Boy: even you

Girl: not everything can be go with the flow never make any plans. you're fucking 26 years old, you plan on spending the rest of your life alone?? what girl do you think is gonna put up with your crap? your crap of never calling her, never making any plans to do anything, etc

Boy: what

Girl: people who like to be aorund you are the people who dont have to count on you for things

Girl: tell me when girl is gonna put up with your crap?? what girl is gonna like never getting a phone call from you. never having you plan a date to take her on. what girl Boy?

Boy: if you have a sec read this tell me what you think

Boy: http://www.personalitypage.com/ESTP.html

Girl: answer my question first

Boy: its not a gay joke

Boy: what was the q

Girl: jesus christ

Boy: just read

Girl: tell me what girl is gonna put up with your crap?? what girl is gonna like never getting a phone call from you. never having you plan a date to take her on. what girl Boy?

Boy: maybe thing will be different when i dont work so much

Boy: my carreer is first at this point in my life

Girl: thats just an excuse

Girl: a phone call takes 5 min

Girl: you cant even do that

Boy: i hate talking on the phone

Boy: i make this clear from the start

Girl: thats not the point

Boy: di you read the link yet

Girl: no girl is going to put up with your constant shit. and your work is just an excuse. when you dont work, you'll be too busy partying or snowboarding to make any type of plans either

Boy: my little fingers are getting tired

Boy: ok fine then

Girl: what about the link

Boy: no girl is going to out with me

Boy: single forever

Boy: did you read the link i sent

Girl: yes what about it

Boy: that was fast

Girl: "They can sometimes be hurtful to others without being aware of it, as they generally do not know and may not care about the effect their words have on others. It's not that they don't care about people, it's that their decision-making process does not involve taking people's feelings into account."

Boy: thats crazy huh

Boy: thats me

Boy: the whole thing

Girl: you seemt o be proud that you hurt peoples feelings

Boy: no

Boy: i dont mean to hurt anybody

Girl: well you hurt me

Boy: that part of my brain just isnt developed like other people

Girl: oh give me a break

Boy: so dont take it personal

Girl: that is not true. you have the ability to change your actions, you just dont

Boy: dude

Boy: Girl

Boy: i dont change

Girl: because you chose not to

Boy: ok

Boy: are you done

Girl: do you realize im one of the best things you could probably ever have?

Boy: no i havent

Boy: whys that

Girl: maybe you should realize it htne

Girl: then

Boy: explain smarty pants

Boy: Girl

Girl: i dont need to explain, its obvious. what other girl is gonna put up with your shit

Boy: If I was changed ez i would be in a relationship now

Boy: thats probably why im single

Girl: then i hope you like being single forver

Boy: you must think im a catch or you wouldnt waste so much energy on me

Boy: trying to fix me up

Girl: i thought you were a catch in the beginning, now im just too far involved to leave

Girl: i definitely dont think you're a catch anymore

Boy: a fixerupper

Boy: ha ha ha ha

Girl: well while you sit there and waste more of your time that you could spend having me just realize that im fucking somebody else

Boy: oh

Boy: good job

Boy: have fun with that

Girl: i will

Boy: ok dont call me anymore one thing i really dont like is what you just did.....you found my button.........nice puch lose my number......you shouldnt be trying to hang out with me if you fucking somebody else......thats sleeeezy,,,,,,,and whorish.....

Girl: hold up

Girl: so its ok for you to go around and date other people

Girl: but not me?

Girl: ?

Girl: answer and i'll leave you alone

Girl: how hard is it to fucking answer

Girl: Boy answer me

Girl: you're being a hypocrite and you know it

Girl: im not gonna leave you alone until you answer

Girl: you're just making this more difficult for yourself

Girl: just fucking answer

Girl: maybe you should follow your own advice "you shouldnt be trying to hang out with me if you're fucking somebody else"

Girl: whoever said we couldn't see other people?

Girl: YOU'RE the one who wanted to date other people

Girl: and now suddenly when the shoe is on the other foot it becomes not ok??

Boy: listen

Boy: or look i should say

Boy: i fuck other girls all the time.....I never rub it in you face like you just did...thats all Girl...Im done...please leave me alone

Girl: you just sat there and said it was a problem that i try to hang out with you while im fucking somebody else

Girl: yet, you appearently do the same thing

Girl: how is that not being a hypocrite?

Boy: dude stop massaging me

Boy: stalker

Girl: Boy top

Girl: stop

Boy: Boytop

Boy: ?

Girl: tell me how you're not being a hypocrite

Girl: your big problem was that i was fucking somebody else and still trying to hang out with you

Boy: leave me alone

Girl: yet you appearently fuck other girls and still try to hang out with me

Girl: no because you're being irrational

Girl: you're getting mad at me for something that youre doing too!

Boy: leave me alone

Boy: im not mad

Girl: not until you answer me

Boy: i expect your hoin around

Boy: i just dont want to hear about it

Boy: promise

Girl: i'll promise when you answer me

Girl: how is it ok for you to fuck other girls and still try to hang out with me

Girl: but its not ok for me to fuck somebody else, and still try to hang out with you

Boy: I dont you try to hang out with me

Girl: you're the one who says you would love to see me and all this stuff

Boy: i dont know what the fuck i was thinking

Boy: will you leave me alone now

Girl: and you told me you wern't sleeping with anybody else

Boy: oh looks like im all cought up.....

Boy: will you leave me alone now

Girl: are you lying to me

Boy: yes

Boy: no

Boy: im not

Boy: will youleave me alone now

Girl: when was the last time you had sex

Boy: you fucking lied....light stix

Boy: i answered

Boy: the QW

Girl: answer that one

Boy: that number 6 now

Girl: just answer and dont lie

Boy: before work i had sex

Girl: today?

Boy: leave me alone

Boy: well yesterday

Boy: leave me alone now please

Girl: i cant

Girl: do you swear you're telling me the truth

Boy: yes

Boy: leave me alone now pleas

Girl: with who?

Boy: this girl

Boy: leave me alone now please

Girl: you're seriously making me cry

Boy: ok then you should just stop taliking to me then

Girl: i cant cause i like you

Boy: what

Boy: Girl are you drunk

Girl: if you're telling me the truth then you seriously just ripped me heart out

Boy: your dumb

Boy: dont say shit like you just said

Boy: if you dont want you little feelings hurt

Boy: thats what you tried to do to me

Girl: its different Boy! i tell you all the time how much i like you and want to be with you

Girl: it doesnt even make a difference to you if im fucking someone else or not because you dont even have feelings for me like i do for you

Boy: leave me alone now please

Boy: Girl you just a little to much for me at this time in my life

Boy: i like you too

Boy: be safe with your fuck buddy

Girl: why did you lie to me then and tell me i was the only person you were having sex with

Boy: k im done

Boy: you said the same thing hot rod

Boy: dont know why your all emotional now

Girl: yeah and the last time you asked you were the onle person

Boy: then why do you want to see me

Girl: apperently you "fuck girls all the time"

Girl: so you've lied to me

Boy: work on your fuck buddy

Boy: im done Girl

Boy: bye

Girl: just wait

Girl: the only reason im even sleeping with somebody else is because i cant have you!

Girl: do you know how much it hurts to like you so much and then never get anything back

Girl: what am i suppose to do?

Girl: you're not suppose to even care if im fucking anybody else cause you never any other time show me that you care

Girl: but it kills me for me to like you so much and then hear that just yesterday you had sex with somebody else?

Boy: just want you to know that you initiated this......that was fucked up...you always talk shit to me about how fuckedup i am.......then you through something like that in mhy face............I did really like you.....I thought that when i get my own place things would be defferent.......my schedule will change soon... so i will have time....but i wont look at you the same and to be honest with you that was way out of line.....have fun with your fuck buddy........to bad he dont take out ....on sat night............