On Monday sometime in the far distant past, I had my first date with the Car Guy. Car Guy is aptly named because he is not only passionate about his car, he refers to "her" as his "lover". (Which makes me laugh because I automatically think of Carrie from SATC saying, "Hello, Lover." Which spirals into my thinking of how she referred to the Russian - luvor. Which goes to me calling Google Nicole's lover. Yeah. It's twisted.) Anyway, after a few emails and match chatting, the Car Guy and I decide that In N Out is in order for dinner because, well, quite frankly, I'm in love with In N Out. So on a Monday night in the not too distant past, I set out on a 30 minute drive to city where Car Guy lives. (Long story as to why we couldn't go to the In N Out literally down the street from my house.)
(Okay. I should point out that this has taken me well over a month to write. I will try to be concise.)
For about two weeks, Car Guy and I hang out almost every day. I sleep very little and eat even less. Anyone that knows me knows that this is a very volatile situation for me to be in. Over the course of the two weeks, I spend a lot of time at his apartment, and met his roommate. (There's already a posting about him.) His roommate isn't really that impressive to me. I'm sure there are reasons for this, and probably the most prominent is that he's one of those people that will intentionally get under your skin. Regardless, this posting isn't about him. It's about the Car Guy.
The Car Guy is one of those cocky guys who's very much into what he likes, and is very rarely interested in hearing what other people have to say. In fact, Car Guy was even racist. (Deal breaker anyone?) From day 1 I told Car Guy that I wasn't just looking for a hook up. Granted, we had some amazing chemistry, and I think that if I had just wanted a hook up I probably could have without any questions asked. The short story is that it didn't work out with the Car Guy. I think we both knew it from the second date. He would say things that intrinsically annoy me, and I'm sure I did the same. He wasn't a classic gentleman (do they even exist?) and I probably put up with more than I should have. I'm sure he hearted me as a date as well. He wasn't all bad, just didn't have the best timing. In fact, the ending of it is what warrants this as post worthy.
A few weeks ago I got my latest tattoo. For those of you who don't know me, I got an Aboriginal Platypus on the back of my neck in memory of my boyfriend who passed away. It took me a long time to pick out the design and even longer to get it. In the end, I never quite understood the emotional ramifications that would come with this tattoo. Two days after I got the tattoo (and two emotional days about it) I hung out with the Car Guy. I went out to dinner with him and his roommate (see the other posting). Afterwards we just hung out and listened to music. By around 11 I said I needed to go home. The Car Guy, being somewhat of a gentlemen (I never said I didn't contradict myself), walked me to my car. There, after a fairly hot make out session against my car (I will happily refrain from the conversation so as to not make my brother uncomfortable), it comes up again as to why I had been upset for two days about my tattoo. Not 3 minutes after I tell him the whole story, he's like "Well, since you keep asking me to be honest with you..." And all I can think of is, "Really? Now? You know I've had a shitty week. You know I'm emotional. Now is when you are going to choose to have this conversation?" Him, "Me and Roommate, we're nice guys. We're just looking for some fun." I interject here to point out that he should never had put himself in the same category as his roommate. I didn't think highly of his roommate. "I just don't see this going anywhere long term. Like I'm having fun and all, but I can see you falling in love with me, and I don't think we have anything in common, and I don't want to hurt you. Almost all of my relationships start out like this and before I know it, I'm in a relationship." Umm, hi! We've known each other 10 days. I'm falling in love with you? I don't even know your middle name. My response, "Really? You are choosing now to have this conversation? Brilliant. Because my week wasn't shitty enough." Him, "I still want to be friends. I still want you to call and text me." Me, "We can't be friends. I can't be friends with someone I'm attracted to. And you want me to stick it out so that you can have someone around you that's into you? Yeah. Not going to happen." This conversation goes on for a while. It's me not quite understanding what's happened and him trying to explain himself. In the end I was like "I can't be friends with you." And he agreed that that probably wouldn't work out. I left. He stood outside my car, and I left without looking back at him.
Despite the dramatic ending and all the drama that followed the next 4 days (cherry on top, anyone?) this actually turned out to be one of the best catalysts in my dating life. It forced me to deal with some issues from the past two plus years that I have been conveniently ignoring. It also made me realize that guys do things girls do all the time. They try to turn something into something it's not. In retrospect, I feel like we wanted different things and that he thought he could turn it into a hook up. (He may have been successful if he hadn't brought everything up that night.) I probably wanted to see if anything more serious would come from it. Regardless, we haven't talked since then. The bummer is that he had a cd I wanted a copy of.
xoxo,
Cyn
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