Date #5 Date #2 with The Wine Guy

Yep. It’s true. Despite the unsuccessfulness of the first date, I proceeded to set up a second date with The Wine Guy. I’m not really sure why I did. In fact, I tried desperately to find a way out of the date, and continually changed it. (In my defense, I had just started the triathlon training for Team In Training and it was kicking my butt. Subsequently, I have since quit the team. Who has time for that training crap anyways? I still managed to raise quite a bit of money, but that’s very much besides the point of this post.) Finally we agreed to Saturday night at my favorite Mediterranean Place. (And may I interject here, adhere the following advice – do not, under any circumstances, date a “getting to know you” date to your favorite restaurant. Yes. I too was warned.)

I spent the morning training and the afternoon hanging out with my friend, Matt, who finds the whole online dating situation ridiculously amusing. He doesn’t quite understand the point of it, and in retrospect, I have to say, I sort of agree with him. As the day continues, I still haven’t heard from The Wine Guy. As I leave Matt’s to go home and relax, at which point I have written The Wine Guy off because it was about 3 hours before the customary “going out time”. (In my book, 7 pm.) Turns out he had to go to a funeral that day but still wants to meet for dinner. Well paint me purple and put me in a bucket. Who goes out after a funeral? The past two that I have had the terror of attending, the last thing I wanted to do was go out on a date. (Granted, one was for my boyfriend who had passed away, but that’s not the point.)

We meet in front of the restaurant and I suddenly remember exactly why I shouldn’t have gone on a second date. It’s not that the kid isn’t cute, but he has sort of a squished face and his sense of style rivals Mr. Rogers. (No, there weren’t sweaters, but there very well could have been.) So we go inside and have to wait. I’m like, let’s sit at the bar and eat. Because, really, the thought of making extended small talk with this kid for long periods of time makes me want to vomit. So we sit and have drinks and he’s like, “I’ve already eaten.” Which astounds me because the point of going to dinner isn’t to watch me eat, but to eat together. Plus, how awkward is it when people watch you eat? So he ends up ordering an appetizer. Oh and did I mention that I said I would pay for dinner? I can’t quite remember why I agreed to this blasphemy. I truly am a spirit of “the guy should pay” mentality. Yeah. I’m old fashioned. I want my door open. I want the romance. “Welcome to the age of uninnocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's and no one has affairs to remember. Instead we have breakfast at 7 am and affairs we try to forget as soon as possible.” (Candace Bushnell.) Well I want breakfast at Tiffany’s and affairs to remember. So when I say that I’m going to pay, I don’t really expect to be taken up on this. And I’m not to say that when I’m in a relationship (not just casual dating but exclusive dating) I won’t pay for anything. I will. In fact, on the same coin I don’t mind paying when the date is my idea. For example, if I were to plan out a long days worth of activities (maybe a museum, lunch, the park, dinner) then I will happily pay for it all. But rarely do dates last that long, and even rarer do first, second, or third dates go that way. It would be quite advisable for someone to come up with a coffee houselike entity where dates could go to talk. Because food and beverages are ALWAYS just a front for conversation. If you have chemistry, chances are, you’ve already forgotten about the food and beverage.

Anyway. The date! So the food comes and we eat. And the conversation is so not going well. I’m not ready to get married, have kids, and live in wine country. I get the impression that he is. In fact, he continually talked about his family, how he’s going their after the date, etc. Oh and he’s a church going boy. My brother would be proud. And yet, I felt like I could have been anywhere but there. There was absolutely no chemistry. And contrary to popular belief, I think that chemistry can be the start of a good relationship. I mean obviously the other stuff has to be there – good conversation, similar interests, etc. – but I just can’t imagine having a long term relationship with someone who I don’t have good chemistry with. But maybe that comes with being a Capricorn.

You may be wondering, how did the date end? Well, quickly, thankfully. After the meal, I claimed tiredness (which wasn’t actually false… I just exaggerated it) and off we walked to the parking structure. Thankfully there was no discussion of walking me to my car or any of that, and we managed to park on different floors, so we said good bye in the elevator – no hug. Altho, I think there was a hug at the beginning of the date. Wasn’t awkward. Just happened. And on that note, I feel that I must clarify my resistance to hugs. I don’t mind the odd hug from a friend I haven’t seen in a while or when I’ve done something exceptional or when something bad has happened. What I do mind is when strangers hug me, when friends insist on hugging at every encounter we have, and when random people feel it’s okay to touch me. It’s not. I don’t like being touched by people I don’t know. I’ve managed to make good friends with people who also agree and live by these principles.

There were no more planned or acted upon dates with The Wine Guy. I have to say – he was an interesting part of the story, but I wish I would have forgone Date #2 with him.