The 90 Minute Conversation with Out of State Boy

So some quick background about this guy. The shortened story is that we sort of "online/ phone dated" last year for a while. Like maybe 6 months or so. He came out to California to visit last June. It was slightly more disastrous then I anticipated, as these things always are. Not long after he came out, we called off whatever it was that we were doing. And it should also be mentioned that his ex-girlfriend went out to visit him for a few months. Yay for basically being cutoff from one of what one would consider a best friend. This conversation is from a summarization to Nicole. Oh and it should be pointed out that for the past six months, the only time Out of State Boy would call me was when he had been drinking heavily. And while only once in a while would he make an extremely inappropriate comment, it was still quite amusing.

So I'm going home yesterday and Out of State Boys calls, and I'm like "I'm almost to my car, can I call you back in like 10?" and he's like, just tell this guy i'm shy. So the short end ot that conversatoin is that he was hanging out with another Work guy, Work Guy, who's from Local SF Location, and wanted him to know that Out of State Boy was shy. Which is SO UNTRUE!So while talking to Work Guy, he proceeds to ask me out for drinks next week, which I find slightly odd, but who am I to ask, right? so I get off the phone and call him back when I'm driving home. Mistake number 1.So we're talking and he's drunk and is like, I'm going to go and I'll call you tomorrow. And I'm like, "Sure.. Okay. Whatever" and he's like what does that mean? and I'm like, You only call me when your drunk we've been thru this. And he's like, that's not true, which starts a short converstaion about how he only calls me when he's drunk, but he has to go, so i'm like, I'll call you later after I eat dinner. Mistake #2 i call him back. Which spirals into a 90 minute (much needed) converstaion of why i think he only calls me when he's been drinking, why he actually only calls me when he's drinking (he only thinks to call anyone when he's drinking. It's the only time he talks to best friend). How he considers me a REALLY important person in his life (he couldn't stress this enough). How I consider him the guy that calls me when he's been drinking and when I have 20 minutes to kill. Then it goes back to June/ July when things did or didn't happen and how they did or didn't end. How he traeted me like shit bc his ex gf was living with him. How he's sorry for how he treated me, and regets how the situation was hadled. (Which I think I needed to hear). And we talked in circles about this for a long time. And i told him, "I'm over this. I've been over it since December. It just aggrivates me that no matter what the time, space, and distance put between us, you can still get under my skin in a way that bugs me. It bothers me that you can text or call me and a week later I'm still thinking about it. I want to be over you but I'm not yet, and it's annoying. It has nothing to do with you." and he gave me the impression that he felt the same. And he was like, "It just sucks that it ended how it did. But I still consider you someone very important in my life." and again, we talked in circles. So the good things that came out of it was that he apologized for last summer and how shit ended, which i needed to hear, and he said some other things that I needed to hear. And he was like, "I want to be better friends with you in your eyes too. Even if that means that I have to make more of an effort too." And i was like, "Ok." and by that I mean I'll believe it when I see it. But I feel better bc I'm not crazy on how he treated me. Not that I thought I was but it was more of a "Oh. you realize you were an asshole and didn't handle the situation well? Good to know." And SCENE. And the oddest thing? That his co worker asked me out for drinks.

So that's the gist of the conversation. Why did I answer the phone? Why did I call him back? Why does any girl return the phone calls/ texts/ emails that "exs" or "past boys" send them? Curiosity, closure, or revenge. Pick one.

Basically after it ended last summer he completely ignored me. And it was at a really bad time in my life, which was really bad for me. And then I couldn't get over it because there was no closure, and it was all because his ex-gf came out to live with him for a while. I mean, I get that guys don't want to be talking to two chicks at once or whatever, but really, if he had just had the balls to tell me that he didn't want to talk to me while his ex-gf was living with him, I would have been okay with it. Instead, I went into stalker mood and got all girly and pissy about it. I mean, really, if you want to hang out with your ex, that's fine, but have the balls to explain that to me.

So where are we now? Well we chat about once a week if that. But I feel loads better about the situation and no longer constantly think about him. Oh man, if I had started this blog when he and I started? Well, oh man is all I have to say.