Date #2: The Narcissist

Date # 2 takes pace at the Aquarium. This date is the day after date #1 (I know. I'm horrible at keeping you guys updated!). Mind you, I'm slightly sick and ridiculously tired. In fact, I was hoping it was going to be canceled or rescheduled.

Test message from me to the Narcissist "You?" I"m hoping he will have forgotten or over slept. No such luck. Fifteen minutes later, "I'm up. We're still on, right?" I call and for warn of the illness and tiredness, hoping he'll say let's reschedule, but no such luck. I manage to get ready in record time, hop on BART, and head to the aquarium, which is another 20 minutes of public transportation once I get into the city. Good times.

I get there but don't see him, so I sit, text him and read my book. Yes, I take a book on every date. Isn't it better to look like a nerd when the guy comes then to be on the phone, texting, or waiting anxiously? I think so. He calls saying he's at the front. I walk over on the phone, "Oh. You're in an orange shirt?" Yes, it was Lacoste or Ralph Lauren but still. Orange. On a first date? Really? Yes. I know. I'm a bitch. Shocker. I know.

So we say hello and I'm like "Shall we?" and I figure since he's been there for awhile, if he was going to buy the tickets he wouldn't, so I go buy my own. Anna later points out that you should always give a guy the lead time to foot the bill or buy the tickets. I say he had time. He knew where we going. He chose not to. But I'll admit, again, that I'm old fashioned and think that guys should at least offer to pay. And yes, I do like my doors opened for me. And I do recognize that this is confusing for so many, but I'm okay with that. Anyway, off to the Aquarium we go.

When we get in, he's like, "I'll just follow you." And I say, "Really? Do you think that's what girls want to hear?" (Side note, I knew from this question that things were not going to work out. So I was okay with being "harsh".) He didn't really have a response worthy of typing out but I will say that it was lame, and I should have called the date then.

The conversation at the Aquarium was lame, including (Him) "What'd you do yesterday" (Me) "Went on a Match date." (Him) "How was it?" (Me) "Talked about his ex a lot." This conversation will come into play later. The Aquarium takes all of thirty minutes at which point I say "I think that was the shortest date ever." (Him) "Yea. I guess we need something else to do." (Me) "Well, you've never been here before. What do you want to do?" (Him) "I don't know." (Me) "All right... Well I'm hungry. Let's eat." Shockingly he made a decision about the restaurant. I know. I was slightly weirded out too.

So we order beers (and can I point out that I never drink when I'm sick. I don't like falling asleep unnecessarily) and "linner". The conversation was ridiculously banal and mundane. At one point he said, "Tell me about..." to which I interrupted, "if you finish that with "yourself", I will actually leave and you will have to pay for my beer." (Him) "You're work." Yes. All of the questions were of this caliber. Unexciting and lame. Most of the questions were because he actually wanted to talk about the subject in regards to himself. If you need a moment to recognize questions to not ask on a first date without sounding like a dating manual, avoid a few of the following. "Tell me about ____" (fill in the blank. Unless you're creative, it's going to sound bad.) "How many siblings do you have?" (No offense, but unless you have fun stories about them, I don't want to hear about them at this point. I'm probably still trying to figure out if I like you.) "What do you do for fun?" (There are SO MANY BETTER WAYS to say this. Try "What'd you do last weekend?" or "What's a cool thing you & your friends tried recently?" or even "What was the last thing you tried for the first time?"- thank you Team In Training!)

At one point he was saying how he hadn't talked about his ex-girlfriend so he was obviously doing better then The Great Mentioner, to which I responded, "Yes, but he bought the tickets for the Exploritorium ahead of time, made dinner reservations, and bought dinner. I think you may be on the same level now." I don't think he responded. Ironically, not much longer he talked about his last girlfriend, which was from high school. In his defense, he went to a predominately male school, where he studied some form of Computer Science. The shock value when he asked me about my last boyfriend was classic, although I do always feel bad when I have to tell people about it without any sort of warning.

The only other remarkable conversation during "linner" was in regards to his sister. He mentioned that when he went home, he had meet her first realy boyfriend- she's only sixteen. I guess he and his brother did some recon and found out that no one at school likes the boyfriend. I pointed out that that shouldn't matter if she likes him and he's not abusive. To which he responds that she didn't mind the other brother walking in on them hooking up. While I did not go into great detail as to what the extent of the hooking up was, I did point out that when I was sixteen I probably wouldn't have cared. Which, in all honesty, is bullocks. But he doesn't need to know that. I think to this day I'm still more concerned about potential boys meeting my brother then my dad. Not sure why, but it may have to do with my brother owning a gun? Who knows! Plus he's liked all the guys I've introduced him to. SO, I guess I really don't have anything to worry about.

Our food has been eaten and I've drunken maybe half my beer. The waitress brought me a 24 oz because that's what The Narcissist ordered. The conversation concerning the beer goes as follows: (Him) "You have a lot of beer left. You better drink up." (Me) "I'm okay with paying for a full beer even if I don't finish it." (Him) "Really? You aren't going to finish it?" (Me) "Does that really bother you that much? And no, I probably won't finish it. I don't want to vomit and I'm sick. It's a bad combo." A few minutes goes by... (Him) "Can I finish it?" My first thought is, did he really just ask that ask. (Me) "No. Does it really bother you that I'm going to leave it?" (Him) "Yes. It does." (Me) "Well if it's going to bother you, then yes, I'm going to leave it." He looks astonished. I take another drink, and hand it to him. I'm still in awe about his audacity to ask for it, but can no longer hold my convictions for the humorous story that will ensue because of this conversation and experience. I remind him that I am sick and I will take no responsibility for him getting sick. He proceeds to casually wipe the glass off with a napkin (Gross, I know, Ratika), to which I respond that pouring it into his own glass would have been better, so he does.

During or prior to the beer conversation, the bill comes, to which I ask, "Would you like me to pay for my half?" to which he responds, "Yes." At which point I'm annoyed because I could have been happy going to In N Out and had a burger but instead I am paying for a meal and a beer that I didn't drink. Good times. Good f'ing times. And again, I know I'm a brat. But imagine if I hadn't offered. Do you think he would have asked? I wouldn't have put it past him. Oh, and lest us not forget that he took the main bill. I wonder if he ended up expensing it. We did talk about work...

After "linner" we went to look at the Sea Lions and had a quick walkthrough of the pier. After that I was like, "So we should probably call it a day." He agreed, and that was when I found out that we'd not only have to take the trolley back together, but that he could take my train too. Yes. It was good times, ladies and gents. At this point, I think he had spent the majority of the date discussing himself, his distaste of authority (which is why he's his own boss for a start up internet company), his family, his ex girlfriend and other dates he'd been on recently, and equally lame factoids about himself. All of which, I'll have you know, I played devil's advocate. And now I get to have a ride on a trolley AND a BART ride with him, because let's face it, there wasn't a chance in hell that the Pittsburgh/ Baypoint train wasn't going to come first.

Fast forward to the BART ride. The entire ride he explains to me that he doesn't like to read because he feels the need to make something better. Yes, ladies & gents, you heard correctly. This boy thinks he can make EVERYTHING better. This is why he works in the internet industry (or whatever you call it). He thinks that he can improve anything he touches. He started a novel based on Conglomerates taking over the world and the one man that's against them all. He's also planning on publishing his journal from when he was 13 and spent time in South America for soccer. I didn't have the heart to tell him that the only people who are probably going to be interested in that besides his family are other thirteen year old boys interested in soccer. But a kid can dream, right? And I guess I shouldn't bash too hard because I have ambitious dreams. (Working for the UN anyone?) But I feel like that I'm not cocky in the sense that he is. I think he was the type of kid who wasn't cool in high school and thinks he is now and needs to make up for that. So the self-confidence comes off as void and and lacking. It's not fun or enjoyable. So after him telling me about he's basically better then the rest of the world and all that has been done, and yes, that is how it came out, his stop came. Now came the awkward "hug" issue. So he sort of started to go in for a hug (he was standing, I was sitting) and I could tell he was going to, he hadn't actually started, I said "Have a good day. Get home safely." Which flustered him. It was great. And yes, as Lindsay pointed out, that was harsh and mean, but I'm not a touchy person. The only time I am is when I am dating you. But I barely hug my friends. And for a great anecdote on that one, talk to Anna about it and Australia. Good times!

So where does this leave The Narcissist and me? Well, last weekend he asked me what I was doing, and to his great disappointment, I was intending on spending the night at home. Apparently he wanted to find out what I was doing first before making his plans. He's messaged me via g-chat a few times, but nothing major. I don't plan on hanging out with him again in the future.

More soon! I have 2 more dates to write about but first it will be about the texter.