Date #8 The Boringest Guy EVER

As the title of the post suggests, this was the boringest date EVER! And the shortest!

Mr. Boring and me had been chatting on and off for several weeks before we were finally able to pinpoint a date. This date took place the following Sunday after the second date with The Dino Grad Guy. I had spent the day with my family and had absolutely no want to go out for coffee with yet another guy I have nothing in common with and whom I find rather boring. Also, I had been in the midst of packing for yet another move. Maybe I should start just canceling when I don't really want to go out.

So we decide to go to Peets Coffee in WC at 8. I leave my parents house and drive there. Lo and behold, Peet's is closed. Just my luck. When I call Mr. Boring, he's like "I was wondering if that was going to be the case." Here's a clue. If you think it's going to be the case, maybe you should suggest another location. We decide on Starbucks in Barnes and Noble. I don't like Barnes and Noble. I worked at Borders. But that's okay. Off I go to B&N. When I get there, I don't notice anyone who looks like his picture, nor any awkward people who look like they are waiting for a date. So I order my hot cocoa. (Again, why do we insist on going out for coffee. Who wants to drink coffee after 3 pm in the day?) I sit down and look like the awkward girl. I'm fairly certain that if people actually cared enough to notice me, they probably knew that I was waiting for a date. Eventually I see this random guy who looks NOTHING like my potential date looking awkwardly around. I wave him over and say "Mr. Boring?" (Not really. I used his name.) I'm taken aback because this kid looks nothing like the picture, and has the social awkwardness of a brand newly born chick. It's bad. Oh. And have I mentioned that he's a math teacher? I thought that it was kind of cool. Maybe even sexy. Yeah. I was wrong. Some stereo types never die. And start with good reason.

After he gets his coffee, he sits down. We start chatting about how I'm moving. Well, no. I start talking about how I'm moving because the silence is so awkward. When he talks, it's boring and about how he still lives at home. How his math students don't learn. How he has to move them onto the next grade regardless. The conversation is probably more mundane and boring then vanilla ice-cream. At least vanilla is reliable and tasty. It even has sugar in it.

After about 20 minutes of this hellish conversation, I feign tiredness and call it a night. He decided to stay at B&N to look at the latest sci-fi and fantasy books. I'm not going to comment on the irony of that because I read sci-fi and fantasy from time to time. And that just wouldn't be fair.

Kel asked me how I was able to call it a night after only 20 minutes. My response? If you aren't feeling it, you just aren't. I'm not going to waste my time for an hour just so some guy can realize that we have nothing in common. I don't feel an obligation to sit there and talk about what color socks he wears to work just to not offend him. I know that not a lot of people feel this way. In fact, I'm certain that many people would think that I was a bit too harsh and jumped the gun. To all of you: TRY ONLINE DATING! Then tell me that spending only 20 minutes with someone you find as interesting as the most boring thing you can think of is worth your time and isn't torture. To all those that agree with me in cutting it off as soon as humanly possible: You've obviously been there at some point, so cheers!

This concludes this portion of online dating. From here on out, ladies and gentlemen, I'll be blogging about any interesting stories I may have. Any interesting interactions that come my way. Oh, and we mustn't forget the roommate.

Date #7 Date #2 With The Dino Grad Guy

The day after our first date, The Dino Grad Guy and I plan the next date for Wednesday night. I was excited because I felt like the first date had been so well and was really looking forward to spending a bit more time with him.

So turns out that The Dino Grad Guy was a bit of a smart arse. The morning of our second date I get the following message from him (thank you, G-chat):

The Dino Grad Guy: oh, well if you were aiming for tonight, you'll have to compete with the two blond undergrads I was with last night. they told me they had to have me again tonight. haven't decided if they're worth my time.

me: ouch

not sure if I can compete with that

maybe I shouldn't even go

The Dino Grad Guy: I think you need the competition. it wouldn't be fun for you otherwise.

I already knew that he was a smart arse, but it continued to astound me. I have pasted the email sent to the girls the morning after the date. Edited, of course, for mature audiences only! Ha ha. More like, be prepared for me to look like an ass.

So I'm beyond confused by my date last night. The date part of it went well. We got beers and chatted. Then went out to the Berkeley Marina to watch the lunar eclipse. And while we were out there, he starts telling me how many people he's slept with (5) & how the average was two dates, etc. And I just laughed about it, etc. He also mentioned that he was actually easy, and had I wanted to sleep with him on Date #1, I could have. But we ended up making out at the pier or whatever. Then we headed back to get dinner. After that, we went back to his place and started watching tv & making out etc. And he's like "Do you want to go to my room?" And I was like, "Yeah, but I’m not going to sleep with you." And we proceeded to continue to make out for a while longer. And then suddenly he's like "So how long am I going to keep you out till?" (Its like 1015) And I was like "Depends. Am I taking BART home or do you want to drive me to my car?" and he was like 'Umm. BART. I don’t want to drive that far." Me "Um. All right. Well whenever." Him "It's just that Steve (his roommate) mentioned getting a drink with a friend I haven't seen for a while." Me "All right. So I'm being kicked out bc I'm going to sleep with you?" (The flow of the conversation made sense. It wasn't long after the whole bedroom conversation. It also wasn’t the first time he mentioned the second date sex thing.) Him "It's not like that. I wasn't expecting anything." So the conversation goes about in circles for a bit about him wanting to go have a drink & my needing to leave & its just weird bc I'm getting the impression that I'm being kicked out bc I'm not going to sleep with him. So finally I say, "Go meet your friends for drinks, that’s fine." And yes it was slightly sarcastic. Him, "That was just an excuse, I'm just really tired. I want to go to bed." Me, "So the truth would have gotten you a lot further in this conversation." And now I’m annoyed bc it's like, really? You couldn't just ask me to leave bc you wanted to go to bed? And I'm confused. And annoyed that I have no idea whether the kid is interested in me or not. And yes, I do mention that. The jack ass is so f'ing sarcastic he makes me look like a saint. And I can never tell when he's serious or not. (Example: the two blond undergrads – which wasn’t even true.) So anyway. I get up to leave. And he's like "I'll walk you to BART." Me "It’s cool. I know how to get there." Him "Are you sure?" Me "Yeah. It's fine. I'll be fine." And I got up to leave & he's like wait cuz I've left my scarf on the couch. (Can I just mention here that I would have been SO angry if I had left my COACH scarf at his place? I would have been SO ANGRY!!!) And hugs me good bye and goes for a kiss, and when he fails, he looks defeated. And I was like "It's not like that. I do want to see you again, The Dino Grad Guy, and not just in passing bc I'm in Berkeley or your in SF." Him "Me too." Me "All right then. I think we both just got the wrong impression." Him "Yeah." (OR something like that.) So I gave him another hug and a quick kiss and left.

So I'm just confused for the multitudes of above but also because I get the impression that he likes me but then I also get the impression that he doesn't. It's very strange. And I don't know if I want to go out with him again either. I can only handle so much sarcasm. In fact, there's a really good analog from my own experience that reminds me of this. When I worked at Carrows I had a crush on my co worker, Jason. And we went out once or twice. And then nothing. I remember talking to my manager about it, and she was like "Well, you're ruthless with him." And I'm like "What are you talking about? I'm just joking around." Her "I poke fun at him. You bite of his arm." And thats sort of how I feel with The Dino Grad Guy. It's more of a biting off the arm then the poking of fun. Also, I would like to point out that I'm fairly certain that he was a complete nerd in high school & is just starting to come into his own. And I think that makes him co ck y in a bad way.

Oh! And one other question... So making out is supposed to consist of French kissing right? And that's supposed to comprise of tongue. Right? Or have I been kissing all wrong for 12 years?

End email.

One other bit. When we were at the Marina, he was like “You know I can see your status message on your g-chat, right?” (The status message was “Yay for inappropriate crushes!) Me: “Yeah.” Him: “Is that in regards to me?” Me: “Not really. I have 1 really inappropriate crush and 1 semi-inappropriate crush.” Him: “Oh…” Me: “But you’re the only crush that I’m interested in pursuing.” Yes. It was cheesy. I’m okay with that. I don’t mind a little cheese from time to time. It keeps life interesting. Then we had to explain exactly what crushes were. I think for him, crushes are more like when you actually like someone. For me… More like when you are interested and want to get to know someone better.

Okay. So in retrospect, I made some mistakes on this date that are similar to what the Anonymous comment to Date #4 refers to. Mostly, I was interested and probably let that be known a little too well. Also, I wasn’t up for having sex with him on the second date. Maybe that was the problem. Whatever. It was an experience. I left angry. We haven’t really chatted since then. Oh but Anna has something to say about it. Here we go:

From Anna:

I was going to write something completely different until I read the last bit about french kissing.

Yes, he was a complete nerd. I think it's some sort of epidemic with former nerds. Like we all got french-kissing lessons in health and guidance but they were too busy playing Dungeons & Dragons (SORRY RYAN!) and missed the class. That being said, perhaps he does have a case of gotta-makeup-for-lost-time-itis. That would explain the 2 date average (or am I just out of date on 3-5 being the normal # of dates prior to shagging... (is that an ok word, Kel?)) So maybe if you're wanting this to be something more than hanging out/making out/ having fun, he may not be the right candidate. He may want to play the field for a while. My recommendation would be to take half of your eggs out of this basket. In fact, make that 75%- Just in case. That way if something develops, you're pleasantly surprised, but if he turns out to be some jerk that never calls, or is entirely too sarcastic to be fun to hang out with, or is just trying to get as much action as possible, you haven't lost too much. I'd say do this on your own terms. As long as you're having fun, and enjoying his company (it being mutual and all) go for it, knock yourself out. And if you feel like you're more invested than he is, or if he's no longer enjoyable leave him to the blond undergrads (greasy hair, print t-shirts and all- oh I saw the girls in Ryan's classes....).

On the topic of sarcasm. Beware. It's funny at first, endearing even. But I can tell you from my experience with Ryan it gets really old, really fast. Just a little proviso, something to keep in mind as you're figuring out whether you like him and want to keep seeing him. Other than that, I'd say if you're up for it, give it another shot and see if he's perpetually confusing. See if he likes you/if you like him. I mean it's only been two dates. It takes a while to figure that stuff out sometimes. Even if you know how you feel, it may take him longer- hence the confused feeling you get. Just try to take things slow and see how they progress. Again just don't put all your eggs in the basket (You've got like 40K of them he really only needs 1 or 2 K at this point. LOL-can you tell I just gave a lecture on genetics/biology?)

I'm not sure what to make of the "drink with a friend"/"i'm tiered" business, maybe Kel can shed some light on that... I'm wondering though, if he said the thing about being tiered because he thought it wouldn't hurt your feelings as much as him going to get a drink with friends (especially if you said "Go meet your friends... etc." a little bit sarcastically). Maybe he was trying to backpedal after realizing it was kind of a stupid thing to say. I don't know, this is just conjecture on my part.

Oh! And Nicole agreed that making out includes tongue.

Crushes

This is a good place to interject this post because it occurred in between Date #1 with the grad guy and Date #2 with him. During this time I had three crushes. One - The Dino Grad Guy; Two - The Roommate; and Three - The Work Guy. This became a humorous point amongst myself and my friends. It can become very hard for friends to keep track of several guys, especially ones that they have never met, when there are constantly new stories about each of them. This became even more humorous when one friend thought that The Roommate was gay. Don't fret if you have yet to learn who The Roommate or The Work Guy is. All to come in due time. Well maybe not The Work Guy. There are no good stories there.

Oh. And just so we're clear. My definition of a crush is someone that I am interested in knowing better, and most likely feel that I have some level of attraction to. Hell. There may even be some chemistry.

Date #6 The Dino Grad Guy

Date #6 comes to us courtesy of my best friend Anna. While at work I could rarely look at the dating websites because of restrictions and blocking and would often forward her any emails or “winks” I would get from guys. One day she looked around the different websites and found someone who she thought would be great for me. We’ll call him The Dino Grad Guy. Ironically, he does not study paleontology.

This date takes place the Monday after my second date with The Wine Guy. It was a three day weekend and the last thing I wanted to do was go on another date. At this point, I was over the online dating thing and going on this date simply out of the sake of finishing something I started. Besides, I had to meet a sorority sister for dinner that night so the date couldn’t last that long.

The Dino Grad Guy and I met in Berkeley, where he goes to school. (Shocking.) To be honest, I was a bit excited about the date because he was the first guy that I wanted to go out with because it seemed like we had so much in common. Besides, who can’t trust their best friend? I get to Berkeley and meet him at his place. He came down the stairs to meet me and I was excited to find out that he didn’t put “old” pictures up of him and didn’t lie about his height. There was definitely chemistry right off the bat and we even hugged at the beginning. We walked down to the local coffee shot and got drinks. We sat and chatted for a while, and while it wasn’t exactly forced conversation, I felt like I was needing to work a bit harder then normal. We chatted about what my plans for the future was and what he was working on for his thesis. When we left the coffee shop, we decided to go get gelato. Well he wanted gelato. I was pretty good without it. And I felt that I had met my match in someone who liked chocolate as much as I did if not more. On the way to gelato the conversation started to get more easy and natural, which was good. I really hate forced conversation. We even managed to chat about family. Wow. In retrospect, I’m still pretty excited about how well the date was going.

So what did I learn about The Dino Grad Guy? Well… He was in a relationship for six years but turned out that the girl was a lesbian. His best friends are lesbians and he tends to hang out better with girls. I saw pictures of him when he was younger and he very much had a style make over after breaking up with the girl. (For the better!) He was using online dating to try to meet new people and seemed to be enjoying it. He didn’t consider himself easy and didn’t like “easy” girls. We ended up back at his apartment looking at pictures on his computer and sharing stories about trips and friends. I was supposed to meet Jayme in Fremont at like 4:30. She called me at 4:45 to ask where I was. Oops. The conversation was just going really well! So I high tailed it out of Berkeley, but not before he walked me to my car and kissed me good-bye. It was the first date where I actually felt excited about it and the guy. There was reference to another date and off I went to meet up with Jayme.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering why this post is so short for being a good date, it’s because I neglected to give details to any of the girls via email or chat the day after. This makes it hard almost two months later to remember all the little details. Don’t worry. There was a second date. And don’t worry. There’s LOTS of information on that one.

Date #5 Date #2 with The Wine Guy

Yep. It’s true. Despite the unsuccessfulness of the first date, I proceeded to set up a second date with The Wine Guy. I’m not really sure why I did. In fact, I tried desperately to find a way out of the date, and continually changed it. (In my defense, I had just started the triathlon training for Team In Training and it was kicking my butt. Subsequently, I have since quit the team. Who has time for that training crap anyways? I still managed to raise quite a bit of money, but that’s very much besides the point of this post.) Finally we agreed to Saturday night at my favorite Mediterranean Place. (And may I interject here, adhere the following advice – do not, under any circumstances, date a “getting to know you” date to your favorite restaurant. Yes. I too was warned.)

I spent the morning training and the afternoon hanging out with my friend, Matt, who finds the whole online dating situation ridiculously amusing. He doesn’t quite understand the point of it, and in retrospect, I have to say, I sort of agree with him. As the day continues, I still haven’t heard from The Wine Guy. As I leave Matt’s to go home and relax, at which point I have written The Wine Guy off because it was about 3 hours before the customary “going out time”. (In my book, 7 pm.) Turns out he had to go to a funeral that day but still wants to meet for dinner. Well paint me purple and put me in a bucket. Who goes out after a funeral? The past two that I have had the terror of attending, the last thing I wanted to do was go out on a date. (Granted, one was for my boyfriend who had passed away, but that’s not the point.)

We meet in front of the restaurant and I suddenly remember exactly why I shouldn’t have gone on a second date. It’s not that the kid isn’t cute, but he has sort of a squished face and his sense of style rivals Mr. Rogers. (No, there weren’t sweaters, but there very well could have been.) So we go inside and have to wait. I’m like, let’s sit at the bar and eat. Because, really, the thought of making extended small talk with this kid for long periods of time makes me want to vomit. So we sit and have drinks and he’s like, “I’ve already eaten.” Which astounds me because the point of going to dinner isn’t to watch me eat, but to eat together. Plus, how awkward is it when people watch you eat? So he ends up ordering an appetizer. Oh and did I mention that I said I would pay for dinner? I can’t quite remember why I agreed to this blasphemy. I truly am a spirit of “the guy should pay” mentality. Yeah. I’m old fashioned. I want my door open. I want the romance. “Welcome to the age of uninnocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's and no one has affairs to remember. Instead we have breakfast at 7 am and affairs we try to forget as soon as possible.” (Candace Bushnell.) Well I want breakfast at Tiffany’s and affairs to remember. So when I say that I’m going to pay, I don’t really expect to be taken up on this. And I’m not to say that when I’m in a relationship (not just casual dating but exclusive dating) I won’t pay for anything. I will. In fact, on the same coin I don’t mind paying when the date is my idea. For example, if I were to plan out a long days worth of activities (maybe a museum, lunch, the park, dinner) then I will happily pay for it all. But rarely do dates last that long, and even rarer do first, second, or third dates go that way. It would be quite advisable for someone to come up with a coffee houselike entity where dates could go to talk. Because food and beverages are ALWAYS just a front for conversation. If you have chemistry, chances are, you’ve already forgotten about the food and beverage.

Anyway. The date! So the food comes and we eat. And the conversation is so not going well. I’m not ready to get married, have kids, and live in wine country. I get the impression that he is. In fact, he continually talked about his family, how he’s going their after the date, etc. Oh and he’s a church going boy. My brother would be proud. And yet, I felt like I could have been anywhere but there. There was absolutely no chemistry. And contrary to popular belief, I think that chemistry can be the start of a good relationship. I mean obviously the other stuff has to be there – good conversation, similar interests, etc. – but I just can’t imagine having a long term relationship with someone who I don’t have good chemistry with. But maybe that comes with being a Capricorn.

You may be wondering, how did the date end? Well, quickly, thankfully. After the meal, I claimed tiredness (which wasn’t actually false… I just exaggerated it) and off we walked to the parking structure. Thankfully there was no discussion of walking me to my car or any of that, and we managed to park on different floors, so we said good bye in the elevator – no hug. Altho, I think there was a hug at the beginning of the date. Wasn’t awkward. Just happened. And on that note, I feel that I must clarify my resistance to hugs. I don’t mind the odd hug from a friend I haven’t seen in a while or when I’ve done something exceptional or when something bad has happened. What I do mind is when strangers hug me, when friends insist on hugging at every encounter we have, and when random people feel it’s okay to touch me. It’s not. I don’t like being touched by people I don’t know. I’ve managed to make good friends with people who also agree and live by these principles.

There were no more planned or acted upon dates with The Wine Guy. I have to say – he was an interesting part of the story, but I wish I would have forgone Date #2 with him.

The 90 Minute Conversation with Out of State Boy

So some quick background about this guy. The shortened story is that we sort of "online/ phone dated" last year for a while. Like maybe 6 months or so. He came out to California to visit last June. It was slightly more disastrous then I anticipated, as these things always are. Not long after he came out, we called off whatever it was that we were doing. And it should also be mentioned that his ex-girlfriend went out to visit him for a few months. Yay for basically being cutoff from one of what one would consider a best friend. This conversation is from a summarization to Nicole. Oh and it should be pointed out that for the past six months, the only time Out of State Boy would call me was when he had been drinking heavily. And while only once in a while would he make an extremely inappropriate comment, it was still quite amusing.

So I'm going home yesterday and Out of State Boys calls, and I'm like "I'm almost to my car, can I call you back in like 10?" and he's like, just tell this guy i'm shy. So the short end ot that conversatoin is that he was hanging out with another Work guy, Work Guy, who's from Local SF Location, and wanted him to know that Out of State Boy was shy. Which is SO UNTRUE!So while talking to Work Guy, he proceeds to ask me out for drinks next week, which I find slightly odd, but who am I to ask, right? so I get off the phone and call him back when I'm driving home. Mistake number 1.So we're talking and he's drunk and is like, I'm going to go and I'll call you tomorrow. And I'm like, "Sure.. Okay. Whatever" and he's like what does that mean? and I'm like, You only call me when your drunk we've been thru this. And he's like, that's not true, which starts a short converstaion about how he only calls me when he's drunk, but he has to go, so i'm like, I'll call you later after I eat dinner. Mistake #2 i call him back. Which spirals into a 90 minute (much needed) converstaion of why i think he only calls me when he's been drinking, why he actually only calls me when he's drinking (he only thinks to call anyone when he's drinking. It's the only time he talks to best friend). How he considers me a REALLY important person in his life (he couldn't stress this enough). How I consider him the guy that calls me when he's been drinking and when I have 20 minutes to kill. Then it goes back to June/ July when things did or didn't happen and how they did or didn't end. How he traeted me like shit bc his ex gf was living with him. How he's sorry for how he treated me, and regets how the situation was hadled. (Which I think I needed to hear). And we talked in circles about this for a long time. And i told him, "I'm over this. I've been over it since December. It just aggrivates me that no matter what the time, space, and distance put between us, you can still get under my skin in a way that bugs me. It bothers me that you can text or call me and a week later I'm still thinking about it. I want to be over you but I'm not yet, and it's annoying. It has nothing to do with you." and he gave me the impression that he felt the same. And he was like, "It just sucks that it ended how it did. But I still consider you someone very important in my life." and again, we talked in circles. So the good things that came out of it was that he apologized for last summer and how shit ended, which i needed to hear, and he said some other things that I needed to hear. And he was like, "I want to be better friends with you in your eyes too. Even if that means that I have to make more of an effort too." And i was like, "Ok." and by that I mean I'll believe it when I see it. But I feel better bc I'm not crazy on how he treated me. Not that I thought I was but it was more of a "Oh. you realize you were an asshole and didn't handle the situation well? Good to know." And SCENE. And the oddest thing? That his co worker asked me out for drinks.

So that's the gist of the conversation. Why did I answer the phone? Why did I call him back? Why does any girl return the phone calls/ texts/ emails that "exs" or "past boys" send them? Curiosity, closure, or revenge. Pick one.

Basically after it ended last summer he completely ignored me. And it was at a really bad time in my life, which was really bad for me. And then I couldn't get over it because there was no closure, and it was all because his ex-gf came out to live with him for a while. I mean, I get that guys don't want to be talking to two chicks at once or whatever, but really, if he had just had the balls to tell me that he didn't want to talk to me while his ex-gf was living with him, I would have been okay with it. Instead, I went into stalker mood and got all girly and pissy about it. I mean, really, if you want to hang out with your ex, that's fine, but have the balls to explain that to me.

So where are we now? Well we chat about once a week if that. But I feel loads better about the situation and no longer constantly think about him. Oh man, if I had started this blog when he and I started? Well, oh man is all I have to say.

Date #4

Well, we all know that I take a while to catch up on this game. Just to give you a count, after this date there are 4 more dates for me to write about. Hopefully I'll be caught up soon!

Date #4 was a date that was continually put off, not because I didn't want to meet up but because work was getting way intense. Finally we agreed on a Saturday night coffee date. I didn't really want to meet up and only planned on it being an hour. In fact, I had told my sister I would drive her out to a club. So I show up at Starbucks (and what's that about? Can't we find a more local coffee house to make friends with?) and Date #4 is there. (I can't seem to come up with a nickname and if ANYONE has a suggestion, I'm all ears!) He's cute and whatever, but totally did the protective thing when I went to get my drink because the baristas were cute and I was being a flirt, so he came up behind me to start talking to me. It wasn't awkward, but just kind of like "Can't I just get my coffee?" But whatever. Oh and I should point out that the date started with a hug. Nicole would be proud.

So we sit down and start chatting, and the conversation is going well. In fact, I can't seem to keep my mouth shut. It was one of those dates where everything I think comes out of my mouth. It was bad because then I start to sound like a critical, judgmental bitch (and I guess that's not that far from the truth...), but oh well. It's also usually the first sign that I'm interested in the boy.

So I have no idea what the conversation was about aside from it being normal. We chatted about my previous Match/ Online dates, and the awkwardness of them, etc. It was kind of amusing because he also spent a lot of time talking about how annoying and dramatic his friends were. Yes, this was the guy that in his first email alluded to his friends being drama. So halfway through the date, my phone rings and it's my sister. Obviously she needs to get to the club. And by no means was she my "out" or anything because really, who needs an out at this point in life? I answered the phone and told her to have her friends drive her there and leave their car there and I would pick them up later. That made it sound even like an out. Date #4 and I keep chatting and my phone rings again. It's my sister telling me that the "fourth" guy wasn't going to go and that she needed a ride, again. I tell her fine but to call me twenty minutes before she's ready to go so that I can drive out to get them, and I continue my date.

At 9:30 my sister calls back and is like, "Does your friend know how to get there?" Me, "I don't think he's going to go." So while I'm on the phone I ask him if he wants to go from Concord, to Martinez, to Pleasanton back to Concord and he just laughs awkwardly. Me, "Lis, he's making an awkward laugh, so I'm going with no." Once I'm off the phone he's like, "Well it'd be pointless for me to go with you bc you'll be going right by Danville (where he lives), unless you wanted to go out for drinks in San Ramon with my friends. but you seem like you really want to go home and take a bath." (Apparently I kept talking about wanting to take a bath...) Me, "Well, I'd be down to hang out, but I'm not up for a social thing where I don't know anyone." Him, "Well I only know one of the guys." Me, "Well why don't i call you after I drop them off?" and he agrees. We say good bye (and I hugged him... Oh and he was the only guy I hugged at this point.) And I joked about how I don't normally hug people, etc.

When I got to my sister's, I texted him, "Hey. Would it be weird if I suggested going to your house and just watching a movie or something? Unless you go out with your friends." His response, "Yeah, it's weird, but I think I can handle it. My friends flaked." A minute later I messaged him with, "BTW, this isn't a pretense to just hook up." His response, "Sweetheart, you aren't getting any tonight." Which cracks me up. And then he texted me directions, etc. And off I went to take my sister to the club and then to Date #4's house.

When I get there, we start "The 40 Year Old Virgin" because I hadn't seen it. We spent the whole movie chatting and stuff and watched very little of the movie. And no, we weren't making out. We were chatting the WHOLE time. So during the movie is when I realized that I totally had a crush on him because I literally had no filter on my mouth. I thought it, it came out of my mouth. Good times. We even looked at Myspace pages and whatnot. Yeah. What a date. Ha ha. And yes, I did remark about all of this. Yay for dating...

So halfway through the movie he's like "Do you want some wine?" And of course I do because I heart wine. And he gets it, etc. And then like 20 minutes later he's like "Do you want some candy?" And busts out with packages of m&ms, skittles, etc. And I'm like "Do you just keep a stash of candy next to your couch?" And he's like "No, I went to the store." And I'm just astounded by this act of kindness and gentlemenness. And so, in true Cyn style, I continue to comment about it and he's like "Do you want to see the receipt?" And I say "Yes." And thus he produces a receipt from Longs which includes not only the candy but also the wine that we had already drank. Which I proceed to comment on and make fun of.

Around 1:20 am or so, my sister called. We had just started the second movie, Talladega Nights, which I also haven't seen. I was exhausted. I had already commented on my ability to sleep just about anywhere. So he's like "Do you want me to go get them for you?" Me, "No, it's cool. It might be hard to explain. And then move them from cars, etc." Him, "Yeah, it may be hard to explain to your sister why you're asleep in a guy's bed." Me, "No, I think the harder part to explain would be why they aren't going back to Martinez tonight." So I say good bye to him and head off to pick up my sister and her drunken friends.

On the way home, after dropping them off, I call him to let him know just how thankful he should be that he didn't have to pick them up. And we joked a bit more and then said good night. Oh and I should point out here that his roommate kept texting and calling him during out date. There were some explicit words exchanged between he and I that would tarnish my reputation as a lady. (Ha! As if!) And thus that conversation will not be repeated here.

We texted the next day (which I started) and he was like, "We should meet up during the week." During that we continued to g-chat and even discussed my "lack" of plans for the future. He's at the point in his life where he's ready to buy his first house, etc., and I'm at the part of my life where I just keep thinking that there is something more out there. Very different books. He's an ant-eater and I'm a zorilla (look it up).

So from the sounds of it, the date sounded good, right? Like there would be a second date, that we hit it off, that we had a lot in common, right? WRONG! So a few days later I'm like "Do you want to hang out still?" And he texts me with, "I want to but I don't want to lead you on. Like I see us being friends, not in a relationship." And that spurs this whole conversation of him jumping from us going on one date to being in a relationship. Yeah. Good times. And I point that out but that I understand. So what happened? Well, the only thing I can figure is that because we're in such different books in our lives, that he doesn't want to get to know me better. Or maybe he was in a different universe for the date then I was. Or maybe the date wasn't as good as I thought. (Which is hard to believe for me...) I'm open to interpretation, so bring it my way! This was well over a month ago, and we have only chatted once or twice on g-chat. And haven't hung out since.

"To boys who confuse us!"